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{{a|myth|[[File:Ironmountain1.jpg|thumb|center|450px|A well-armed [[credit officer]] yesterday.<ref>Actually this may be an actual [[undead]] [[Lehman]] employee.</ref>]]}}{{d|Horcrux|/hɔːkrʌks/|n|}} | {{a|myth|[[File:Ironmountain1.jpg|thumb|center|450px|A well-armed [[credit officer]] yesterday.<ref>Actually this may be an actual [[undead]] [[Lehman]] employee.</ref>]]}}{{d|Horcrux|/hɔːkrʌks/|n|}} | ||
An object in which a warlock, wizard or witch has hidden a fragment of his or her soul in order to later attain immortality. Horcruxes can only be created after committing a supreme act of evil — corporate [[insolvency]], forgetting to [[Registration of charges|register]] a [[charge]], splitting an infinitive — that kind of thing. Therefore lots were generated in the wake of the [[global financial crisis]], and to this day practitioners of [[dark arts]] (eg [[credit officer]]s) may still invoke them to ward off over-enthusiastic [[sales]]people. | An object in which a warlock, wizard or witch has hidden a fragment of his or her soul in order to later attain immortality. Horcruxes can only be created after committing a supreme act of evil — corporate [[insolvency]], forgetting to [[Registration of charges|register]] a [[charge]], splitting an infinitive — that kind of thing. Therefore lots were generated in the wake of the [[global financial crisis]], and to this day practitioners of [[dark arts]] (eg [[credit officer]]s) may still invoke them to ward off over-enthusiastic [[sales]]people. A fallow decade passed after the [[LIBOR]] horcrux of 2009, but those who thought the age of dark magic was behind us will have been disappointed by 2021, which was a bumper year, spawning two new horcruxes, as we shall see. | ||
===Horcruxes in current circulation=== | ===Horcruxes in current circulation=== | ||
In financial services, evil is relative, and we therefore find there to be ''good horcruxes and bad ones, depending on whether you are buy- or sell- | |||
The most famous Horcrux takes the form of an [[Iron Mountain]] box stuffed with personal effects and deal bibles. It is the “[[Lehman]]”. Since it first emerged in late 2008, the [[Lehman]] has been an ever-present weapon in the armoury of those devilish advocates, [[Buy-side legal eagle|buy-side legal eagles]]. Sometimes, for smaller jobs, they might invoke an [[MF Global]]. These men and women — [[buyside counsel]], that is — are all of [[Slytherin]]:<ref>Or, at a pinch, the darker recesses of [[Ravenclaw]]: at any rate, there are no [[Hufflepuff]]ians or [[Gryffindor]]an alumni in their throng.</ref> they wield their magical spells in the service of the [[Dark Lord of the Swaps]] — yea; [[he who shall not be named]]; the very [[master of the universe]] himself, ''against'' the righteous forces of the [[First Men]], whose heroes one typically finds defending the ramparts of the [[worshipful alliance of broker-dealers|worshipful company of broker-dealers]]. | The most famous Horcrux takes the form of an [[Iron Mountain]] box stuffed with personal effects and deal bibles. It is the “[[Lehman]]”. Since it first emerged in late 2008, the [[Lehman]] has been an ever-present weapon in the armoury of those devilish advocates, [[Buy-side legal eagle|buy-side legal eagles]]. Sometimes, for smaller jobs, they might invoke an [[MF Global]]. These men and women — [[buyside counsel]], that is — are all of [[Slytherin]]:<ref>Or, at a pinch, the darker recesses of [[Ravenclaw]]: at any rate, there are no [[Hufflepuff]]ians or [[Gryffindor]]an alumni in their throng.</ref> they wield their magical spells in the service of the [[Dark Lord of the Swaps]] — yea; [[he who shall not be named]]; the very [[master of the universe]] himself, ''against'' the righteous forces of the [[First Men]], whose heroes one typically finds defending the ramparts of the [[worshipful alliance of broker-dealers|worshipful company of broker-dealers]]. | ||