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Template:Linkedin job descriptions: Difference between revisions
Template:Linkedin job descriptions (view source)
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|''Futurist'' | |''Futurist'' | ||
|Dullard and liar (unless literally a | |Dullard and liar (unless ''literally'' a clairvoyant, in which case this is market standard puffery) | ||
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|''Privileged to be leading customer-focused teams in an exciting network-centric IT services market'' | |''Privileged to be leading customer-focused teams in an exciting network-centric IT services market'' | ||
| | |Either ''actually'' a GPT4 [[chatbot]], or possessor of a job description written by one. | ||
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|''Speaker · Author · Mentor · Catalyst · Facilitator · Rebel '' | |''Speaker · Author · Mentor · Catalyst · Facilitator · Rebel '' | ||
|The [[ | |The [[thought leader]]’s [[thought leader]] | ||
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| ''Futurist · Visionary Consultant · Quantitative Futurism · Authentic Innovation · Be the Architect of Your Future'' | | ''Futurist · Visionary Consultant · Quantitative Futurism · Authentic Innovation · Be the Architect of Your Future'' | ||
| God knows, but imagine getting stuck in a lift with this guy. Then again, | | God knows, but imagine getting stuck in a lift with this guy. Then again, [[Spartan if|if]] he is as good as his word, this is not likely to happen since being a futurist he should have anticipated it. So, come to think of it, an ''excellent'' guy to get into a lift with. | ||
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|''Award-winning Executive Leader Focused on Streamlining Processes, Driving Revenues, And Leading High-Performing Teams. Currently open to job opportunities at vice president level. (He/Him)'' | |''Award-winning Executive Leader Focused on Streamlining Processes, Driving Revenues, And Leading High-Performing Teams. Currently open to job opportunities at vice president level. (He/Him)'' | ||
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| ''Leading the Digital Transformation of Economy'' | | ''Leading the Digital Transformation of Economy'' | ||
| Possibly the Prime Minister? Not even ''The'' Economy? Alternatively, works for an airline, figuring out whether passengers in coach can | | Possibly the Prime Minister? Not even ''The'' Economy? Alternatively, works for an airline, figuring out whether passengers in coach can [[WFH]]. | ||
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|colspan="2"|'''Section B: Lifers from personnel''' | |colspan="2"|'''Section B: Lifers from personnel''' | ||
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|''Director of [[diversity and inclusion]]'' | |''Director of [[diversity and inclusion]]'' | ||
|In [[personnel]]. Caucasian, male, can spot a bandwagon at 200 yards, is adept at [[virtue-signalling]] and spends most of day tweeting shameless corporate speak. | |In [[personnel]]. Caucasian, affluent, male, can spot a bandwagon at 200 yards, is adept at [[virtue-signalling]] and spends most of day tweeting shameless corporate speak. | ||
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|''Global Head of Client Experience, [[HR]] Business [[Partner]]ing & Leadership, Learning, [[Talent]] and [[Culture]], [[COO]]'' | |''Global Head of Client Experience, [[HR]] Business [[Partner]]ing & Leadership, Learning, [[Talent]] and [[Culture]], [[COO]]'' | ||
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|colspan="2"|'''Section C: The temporarily employed, unemployed, and soon-to-be-unemployed''' | |colspan="2"|'''Section C: The temporarily employed, unemployed, and soon-to-be-unemployed''' | ||
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|''Executive coach'' | |||
|Recently made redundant from an [[operations]] role. Unable to find work contracting. | |||
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|''[[Intrapreneur]]'' | |''[[Intrapreneur]]'' | ||
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|Unemployable fantasist. | |Unemployable fantasist. | ||
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|''Angel investor '' | |''Angel investor'' | ||
|Recently, belatedly, made [[redundant]] from an [[middle management]] role. | |Recently, belatedly, made [[redundant]] from an [[middle management]] role. | ||
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|''Experienced [[financial services professional]]'' | |''Experienced [[financial services professional]]'' | ||
|Recently made redundant from an | |Recently made redundant from an [[operation]]s role. In process of resigning themselves to a life of contracting, but not quite cool with it yet. | ||
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|''Board-level legal advisor'' | |''Board-level legal advisor'' | ||
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|''[[Founder and CEO]]'' | |''[[Founder and CEO]]'' | ||
|Recently | |Recently laid off from an [[operations]] role. Now contracting. | ||
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|''Digital Thought and Program Leader running large [[end-to-end]] digital programs across multiple geographies.'' | |''Digital Thought and Program Leader running large [[end-to-end]] digital programs across multiple geographies.'' | ||
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|''Experienced senior operations director with [[proven track record]]'' | |''Experienced senior operations director with [[proven track record]]'' | ||
|Yet, here you are, “interested to hear of any opportunities. Will even consider contracting.” | |Yet, here you are, “interested to hear of any opportunities. Will even consider contracting.” #OpenToWork | ||
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|''#OpenToWork [[and/or]] [ | |''#OpenToWork [[and/or]] [Desperately] seeking new opportunities in ...'' | ||
|Possessed of charming candour but no common sense at all. ''Never'' admit you are out of work. | |Possessed of charming candour but no common sense at all. ''Never'' admit you are out of work. | ||
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