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===The South African credit-linked note and the misunderstood  [[sw-æp]]===
===The South African credit-linked note and the misunderstood  [[sw-æp]]===
 
It was two decades ago, a mild Friday evening in the infancy of the [[credit derivative|credit derivatives]] market. It was all to do with a secured [[note]], [[credit-linked note|credit-linked]] to the republic of South Africa. I had drafted it — elegantly, if I do say so myself — and faxed if off, as one did in those days, to our client, a giant investment bank, and the prospective purchaser. The week’s work done, I was putting my blazer on and groping for my brolley when the phone rang.  
 
It was decades ago, a mild Friday evening in the infancy of the [[credit derivative|credit derivatives]] market. It was all to do with a secured [[note]], [[credit-linked note|credit-linked]] to the republic of South Africa. I had drafted it — elegantly, if I do say so myself — and faxed if off, as one did in those days, to our client, a giant investment bank, and the prospective purchaser. The week’s work done, I was putting my blazer on and groping for my brolley when the phone rang.  


I turned on my heels and regarded it resentfully. Should I answer?
I turned on my heels and regarded it resentfully. Should I answer?
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In any case this chap sent in his mark-up of the, er, [[sw-æp]], and he had rather gone to town on it, in a manner indicating only a passing acquaintance with the derivatives market, but great expertise in the complications that arise when one transports goods by sea.  
In any case this chap sent in his mark-up of the, er, [[sw-æp]], and he had rather gone to town on it, in a manner indicating only a passing acquaintance with the derivatives market, but great expertise in the complications that arise when one transports goods by sea.  


My supervising partner in those days was an excitable fellow<ref>''Highly'' excitable. To keep a lid on his blood pressure, he retired shortly thereafter and now runs a newsagent in Gillingham.</ref>. I confess it was with prurient glee that I trotted around and dropped the comments — which were as compendious as they were ill-informed — on his desk, the way an obstreperous child might drop a lighten match into a canister of petrol.  
My supervising partner in those days was an excitable fellow<ref>''Highly'' excitable. To keep a lid on his blood pressure, he retired shortly thereafter and now runs a newsagent in Gillingham.</ref>. I confess it was with prurient glee that I trotted around and dropped the comments — which were as compendious as they were ill-informed — on his desk, the way an obstreperous child might drop a lit match into a canister of petrol.  


It had the anticipated effect. Whilst the young [[JC]] was patiently explaining this unexpected setback to our client, represented by a callow but quick young fellow from Dublin, in his first year out from Trinity College, my supervisor stormed into the room, his face a rich shade of puce.  
It had the anticipated effect. Whilst the young [[JC]] was patiently explaining this unexpected setback to our client. It was represented by a callow but quick young fellow from Dublin, in his first year out from Trinity College. My supervisor stormed into the room, his face a rich shade of puce.  


“I have never been so outraged”, said he. “I have covered his draft with unspeakable obscenities! Filthy! words that start with “c” and “p”!”
“I have ''never'' been so outraged”, said he, “and I have covered his ridiculous mark-up with unspeakable obscenities! Filthy! words that start with “c” and “p”!”


There was the most exquisite pause before the young Irishman on the speakerphone interjected:  
There was the most exquisite pause before an Irish voice on the speakerphone interjected:  


“[[Conditions precedent]]?”
“[[Conditions precedent]]?”