Vlad Paripasu: Difference between revisions

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It is said [[Lacuna]], the “Dark” Queen of Carpathia, tried to have him drowned in a coracle accident on the Black Sea, but the infant Paripasu survived being raised by a bale of terrapins, earning him the nickname the “Turtle Count”. There is no contemporaneous historical evidence to corroborate a trip to the Black Sea, but Paripasu’s fear of and enmity towards women in positions of executive power is well documented — he would go on to found the ''[[Society of Pale Old Men]]'' later in life.
It is said [[Lacuna]], the “Dark” Queen of Carpathia, tried to have him drowned in a coracle accident on the Black Sea, but the infant Paripasu survived being raised by a bale of terrapins, earning him the nickname the “Turtle Count”. There is no contemporaneous historical evidence to corroborate a trip to the Black Sea, but Paripasu’s fear of and enmity towards women in positions of executive power is well documented — he would go on to found the ''[[Society of Pale Old Men]]'' later in life.


A sickly but intelligent child, Vlad learned to speak and read before he was a year old. From this time he was susceptible to bad dreams. He would recount them to his mother, a serving wench, who dismissed them as the product of an over-active imagination, but they had a habit of coming true. The King found this out, and took the boy into his court (over the fierce protestations of the Queen, who always hated him.  
A sickly but intelligent child, Vlad learned to speak and read before he was a year old. From this time he was susceptible to bad dreams. He would recount them to his mother, a serving wench, who dismissed them as the product of an over-active imagination, but they had a habit of coming true. The King found this out, and took the boy into his court (over the fierce protestations of the Queen, who always hated him).  


But while the other children of the Royal Court would fence with wooden [[promissory note]]s under the tutelage King’s Consul Viclean,<ref>Romanian for “Deceitful”.</ref> the King kept Vlad away, not letting him out, ensuring no-one found out about the boy’s strange halluncinogenic power, which he feared could one day be used against the kingdom (this was one of Vlad’s earliest dreams). Mutatis tried to keep Vlad’s foretelling to himself, to stay one step ahead of his enemies, quelling any fomenting dissent among his people.
But while the other children of the Royal Court would fence with wooden [[promissory note]]s under the tutelage King’s Consul Viclean,<ref>Romanian for “Deceitful”.</ref> the King kept Vlad away, not letting him out, ensuring no-one found out about the boy’s strange hallucinogenic power, which he feared could one day be used against the kingdom (this was one of Vlad’s earliest dreams). Mutatis tried to keep Vlad’s foretelling to himself, to stay one step ahead of his enemies, quelling any fomenting dissent among his people.


So Vlad was confined to the kitchens of the great mead-hall, only allowed out to clear plates during banquets and serve the warriors ale. When he did this the other children of the court bullied him. Chief among them was Dragos, Viclean’s eldest son, a handsome but vain young man whose hand-to-hand discounting and factoring techniques were unmatched in the citadel. One day the King happened upon Dragos as he was mercilessly beating upon Vlad. Far from intervening and punishing Dragos, this King chided Vlad for his feebleness and credulity, and threw him out of the castle, telling him to come back “only when you have learned how to fend for yourself.”
So Vlad was confined to the kitchens of the great mead-hall, only allowed out to clear plates during banquets and serve the warriors ale. When he did this the other children of the court bullied him. Chief among them was Dragos, Viclean’s eldest son, a handsome but vain young man whose hand-to-hand discounting and factoring techniques were unmatched in the citadel. One day the King happened upon Dragos as he was mercilessly beating upon Vlad. Far from intervening and punishing Dragos, this King chided Vlad for his feebleness and credulity, and threw him out of the castle, telling him to come back “only when you have learned how to fend for yourself.”
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“Potential is better underjudged than overdone,” said the voice, “for then you have the advantage.”
“Potential is better underjudged than overdone,” said the voice, “for then you have the advantage.”


“But no man values one he deems a fool,” wailed Vlad.
“But no man values one he deems a fool,” wailed Vlad. A shadowy figure revealed himself in the greasy light from the pig-lanterns. It was the old fool, [[Uctis the Magnificent|Uctis]], collecting scraps and slops.


“And behold, your very advantage. For nor does he fear him,” said Uctis with bright eyes. “And what do you call a mortal foe who should fear you, but does not?”
“And behold, your very advantage. For nor does he fear him,” said Uctis with bright eyes. “And what do you call a mortal foe who ''should'' fear you, but does not?”


“I — I don’t know.”
“I — I don’t know.”


“Dinner.” Suddenly a shadowy figure reveals himself in the greasy light from the pig-lanterns. It is the old fool, Uctis, collecting scraps and slops.
“''Dinner''.”  


At first Vlad is dismissive, but Uctis picks his pocket, proving the value of being underestimated. The old beggar and the young bastard forged a keen bond and Vlad over time taught him to compensate for his diminutive status by learning to outsmart his rivals, and adopting disguises and personas when it suited him.  
At first Vlad is dismissive, but Uctis picks his pocket, proving the value of being underestimated. The old beggar and the young bastard forged a keen bond and Vlad over time taught him to compensate for his diminutive status by learning to outsmart his rivals, and adopting disguises and personas when it suited him.  
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Uctis was, in fact, a powerful Berber Wizard, in disguise, himself exiled for his perfidy from the northern wilds. Uctis regaled Vlad with tales about the magical, mythical northern city of [[Salomoné]], where a race of clever weaklings, the “[[lunch money|Lanchmani]]” were masters of their fertile domain. While Vlad dreamed of one day seeking out this shining citadel, Uctis trained him to make do without “magical weapons” that could be wrested from his control:  
Uctis was, in fact, a powerful Berber Wizard, in disguise, himself exiled for his perfidy from the northern wilds. Uctis regaled Vlad with tales about the magical, mythical northern city of [[Salomoné]], where a race of clever weaklings, the “[[lunch money|Lanchmani]]” were masters of their fertile domain. While Vlad dreamed of one day seeking out this shining citadel, Uctis trained him to make do without “magical weapons” that could be wrested from his control:  


“Do not ''have'' a weapon that you could lose: ''Be'' a weapon: that you ''cannot'' lose. No-one can steal your cunning.”
“Do not ''have'' a weapon that you could lose: ''Be'' a weapon: that you ''cannot'' lose. None can steal your cunning.”


Eventually restored to the castle, King Mutatis kept the boy in the kitchens, sweeping out the refectory, still consulting him for his dreams. Randolph and, Dragos, continued to pick on the bastard boy as he cleared their plates, but found him curiously immune to their efforts.  
Eventually restored to the castle, King Mutatis kept the boy in the kitchens, sweeping out the refectory, still consulting him for his dreams. Randolph and, Dragos, continued to pick on the bastard boy as he cleared their plates, but found him curiously immune to their efforts.  
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“Do not speak so soon. In fact, you may already have done so. You may be too late.”  
“Do not speak so soon. In fact, you may already have done so. You may be too late.”  


Of course, Vlad was talking about himself, but the King was too vain to realise it.  
Of course, Vlad was talking about himself, but the King was too vain to realise it.
 
“How should I keep my crown secure?”  
“How should I keep my crown secure?”