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{{a|contract| | {{a|contract| | ||
[[File:Worst reasonable efforts.png|450px|frameless|center]] | [[File:Worst reasonable efforts.png|450px|frameless|center]] | ||
}}Few can dress up a nonsense in finery like we [[Legal eagle|goshawks of the law]]: to | }}Few can dress up a nonsense in finery like we [[Legal eagle|goshawks of the law]]: to “use [[endeavour|endeavours]]” is to embark with laudable commitment on an action worthy of a memorialisation by [[covenant]]; to “try to do something”, not so much, despite amounting to the same thing. | ||
And a merchant who accepts responsibility only for her [[gross negligence]] promises little more than forbearance from outright [[recklessness]] in the performance of her bond. Yet counsel on either side (of the bargain; not the Atlantic!) nod along as if this is somehow okay. | |||
So it falls to us to ask: if one can sensibly commit to one’s “[[best reasonable efforts]]” — then why not something ''less'' than that? How about one’s ''worst'' [[Reasonable|reasonable efforts]]? A sort of [[cheapest-to-deliver]]; a high-jump clearance that leaves the bar a-wobble, but not quite on the crash mat; a leave outside off that brushes the stump but does not dislodge the bail. | |||
It sounds like a satire; a gentle perversion of the basic premise of [[good faith]] commerce — all right, it ''is'' one of those — but still, it is the operating theory behind [[outsourcing]]. It is this precise villainy that the [[service level agreement]] addresses: the tacit knowledge that any organisation that sub-contracts services at scale measures its internal return by how close to the naked minimum requirements of its contract it can swoop without regularly shipping complaint. | |||
We also see worst reasonable efforts from organisations who know their captive customers have little realistic choice — banks, governments, insurers — and those who suppose they’ll not see the same customer again anyway, at least until the exasperation of | Therefore, the [[SLA]] recognises the service provider’s economic imperative to satisfy the literal, formal criteria of a contract and not a whisker more and purports to neutralise it, with a grisly intercessional catalogue of deadlines, quantities and auditable standards. | ||
Worst reasonable efforts is how for-profit [[insurance|insurers]] work, too, come to think of it, whose business model might have been formed by the following monologue: “we may have a [[Uberrimae fidei|fiduciary obligation]] and we will, if we really must, honour it — but not with any enthusiasm: we will do nothing in our power that we don’t absolutely have to: we will delay, ignore and quibble: we will lose correspondence, misdirect responses and at every turn raise spurious objections in the hope of so sapping your will to carry on that you won’t.”<ref>Why, by the way, aren’t mutual insurance companies, owned and run for the benefit of the insured, more of a thing? I have never understood this.</ref> | |||
We also see worst reasonable efforts from organisations who know their captive customers have little realistic choice — banks, governments, insurers — and those — mechanics — who suppose they’ll not see the same customer again anyway, at least until the exasperation of its last encounter has mostly leeched awayand especially, those which are a bit of both: low-cost airlines, car rental companies and ticket booking agencies. | |||
So we can giggle, but for much of our rubbish modern lives, ''worst'' reasonable efforts are what we can expect from our rubbish modern overlords whose whole model — the presentation of [[Premium mediocre|the mediocre as premium]] — purport to deliver have sacrificed quality, bound and gagged, at the satanic altar of [[scale]]. It is they that will send brusque emails from unmonitored accounts; they whose pre-recorded messages assures you your call is important and will be answered within the hour; they who ask you [[Net promoter score|how likely you are to recommend]] your [[HR]] department to your friends and family; they who add booking fees for a performances booked online; they who explain your disc brakes were worn, again, and needed replacing when you took the car in to get the wipers fixed. | So we can giggle, but for much of our rubbish modern lives, ''worst'' reasonable efforts are what we can expect from our rubbish modern overlords whose whole model — the presentation of [[Premium mediocre|the mediocre as premium]] — purport to deliver have sacrificed quality, bound and gagged, at the satanic altar of [[scale]]. It is they that will send brusque emails from unmonitored accounts; they whose pre-recorded messages assures you your call is important and will be answered within the hour; they who ask you [[Net promoter score|how likely you are to recommend]] your [[HR]] department to your friends and family; they who add booking fees for a performances booked online; they who explain your disc brakes were worn, again, and needed replacing when you took the car in to get the wipers fixed. | ||
And so we tolerate [[worst reasonable efforts]], each time taking mental notes for the forthcoming revolution, and | |||
{{sa}} | {{sa}} | ||
*[[Work-to-rule]] | *[[Work-to-rule]] | ||