Convenimus ergo es
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Conference Call Anatomy™
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Büchstein’s famous maxim, loosely translated as “we are in a meeting, therefore you exist”[1], which he formulated to disprove central thesis from Descartes’ Discourse on the Method and thus establish the non-existence of an omnipotent benevolent god, for no such deity could exist in a universe where all-hands conference calls are an inevitability.
If there is such a thing in our world as a business meeting[2] and take it from me, there most definitely is — then it is not, as Descartes contended, self-evidently true that the only certain thing in the universe is the incorporeal “I” as a thinking thing (“res cogitans”). “You” must also exist, as a talking thing (“res verbositans”), and so must the project manager as an action-assigning thing (“res bossitans”)
See also
- Otto Büchstein and his rightly forgotten Discourse on the Discourse
- René Descartes and his more longevitous Discourse on the Method
References
- ↑ The JC is, as ever, grateful for the intervention of his secret Latin advisor in formulating this maxim.
- ↑ Translators note: Modern translations of this work render “business meeting” as all-hands conference call