Mediocre lawyer

one trained in the law whose principle fear is being blind-sided by the very language — English — in which she must ply her trade. When you press her why she must so persistently desecrate her calling, she will tell you this:

“My drafting may be convoluted, but it is effective: It must be, for we haven’t had any litigation on it.”

If you have the patience, this is the time to wheel out your pre-prepared joke:

“I hear”, you say, “that, for a disguise, elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow, and hide upside-down in custard.” “Why, that’s preposterous!” she will cry. “Aha! but have you ever seen an Elephant hiding upside-down in custard?” “No, of course not!” “WELL THAT SHOWS WHAT A GOOD DISGUISE IT IS THEN.”

Walk proudly away. Your work is done. It won’t make a blind bit of difference, but you may feel better.