Legal eagle

From The Jolly Contrarian
(Redirected from Mediocre lawyer)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary
A legal eagle yesterday

The snippy guide to financial services lingo.™
For the full index, click here

A well-meant but still derogatory way to address the legal department, used by junior salespeople in the sincere but mistaken belief it will ward off, and not compound, the resentment that department has for them.

For example:

“Hi Legal Eagles!!
Can you turn around this tsht for me by COB?
Thx

Ghastly, isn’t it? More so when uttered by a newly-migrated structurer who, a few short days ago, worked, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and was himself a beloved member of the legal team.[1]

Despite its name, the legal eagle, genus lingebant ulcera pullum, is a flightless member of the chicken family. It is mainly harmless and lays nice nest-eggs. Legal eagles can breed in captivity — as a matter of fact that’s often the only way they can breed, in glorified coops called “law firms” — and if released in the wild can, with appropriate camouflage, make do among the grassy banks and hedgerows.

See also

References

  1. You could continue to wax Wilfred Owenesque for young sir will, with horrifying speed, find himself quite unbelovèd by his alma mater. Those who remain will regard him with the same fondness surviving members of MI6 — the ones who weren’t betrayed and murdered by a filthy double-crosser — have for Kim Philby. Their will not be assisted by being called “legal eagles”.