Convenimus ergo es
Conference Call Anatomy™
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Büchstein’s famous maxim, loosely translated as I am in a meeting, therefore you exist, which was formulated to disprove central thesis from Descartes’ Discourse on the Method and thus establish the non-existence of an omnipotent benevolent god, For no such deity could exist in a universe where all hands conference calls are an inevitability.
If there is a meeting — and take it from me, there most definitely is — then it is no longer self-evidently true that the only certain thing in the universe is the incorporeal “I” as a thinking thing (“res cogitans”). “You” must also exist, as a talking thing (“res verbositans”), and so must the project manager as an action-assigning thing (“res bossitans”)