Discourse on Intercourse
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Conference Call Anatomy™
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Discourse on Intercourse is a well-intended though basically wrong-headed philosophical tract formulated by delusional Austrian librettist Otto Büchstein in the depths of dengue fever delirium in 1769.
Outraged by René Descartes suggestion that the only indubitable thing in the universe was one's own existence as a thinking thing, Büchstein attempted to deduce an entire multi-personal epistemology from the commercial inevitability of business meetings.
His logic was this: meetings must exist, since no-one in her right mind world make the idea up if she didn't need to. So, since someone has made them up, business meetings must a necessary fact of corporate life. On that predicate, it follows that as it is an a priori fact that a meeting must comprise more than one person, there must be multiple individuals in the universe, to give effect to inevitable meetings. At least three, thought Büchstein: the meetor and the meetee, and since transparently neither of these would willingly meet without some kind of compulsion, a third person (usually a management consultant or project manager) to force the meeting to happen and assign actions and timelines at its conclusion.