The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary
The snippy guide to financial services lingo.™
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“I don’t need money. I need questions answered.
Question number one: Can I have some money?”
—Ford Fairlane, in The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Rock ’n’ Roll Detective

A simple, but gravely misunderstood thing.

It is misunderstood by tech people (bitcoin isn’t cash; it’s a fraudulent asset); by people who ask for client money protection from a bank, and by those who aspire to take security over it.

Cash is not an asset. It is not property. Cash is is a token of abstract value. It is a will ’o’ the wisp, a woodland sprite, an ephemerality which floats freely of the mortal chains of commerce. It is like Sandy Denny, or one of those free-spirited hippie types that dances round toadstools: It cannot be owned, only held[1] — which is another way of saying whoever holds it owns it, outright, against all the world. Cash requires your total commitment, or nothing: you can’t futz around with it, you can’t declare a trust over it, pledge it, or hold it for anyone other than yourself.

Try telling that to a US attorney, of course. Undoubtedly they’ll have found a way of granting security over cash, which will make about as much sense as rehypothecation. It probably involves rehypothecation, come to think of it.


See also

References

  1. “Ford! Ford! We just needed to be held!”
    “Well, you got the bonus plan. Ohhh”