Beverage
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Towards more picturesque speech™
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There is no situation in which “beverage” more suitable word than “drink”. Not even ironically. Not even when it comes to wiping a spilt one up, with a fresh clean flannel. It is a word that should not exist, however fine its Mediaeval French or Latin pedigree might be: it was barely used before the 19th Century.
There is some argument that a “beverage” excludes plain water but this doesn't seem right, especially as it does include drinks like tea — and Coke, Red Bull, beer, and pretty much every other commercially produced drink, for that matter — which is just water with shit in it. And what of mineral water? Carbonated mineral water? Naturally carbonated mineral water?
A better suggestion is it is a commercially produced drink, that you have to buy — so excluding tap water. But even then one often sees “free beverages” advertised. And what of places where drinking water is metered and, indirectly, one does in fact pay for it?
And what is the occasion on which it would be so important to capture “all drinks made out of water except plain water”, or “all drinks which are apt for commercial sale, whether or not actually sold, as long as having the potential to be exchanged as a part of a commercial transaction” that you need a specific word for it?