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The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary

The snippy guide to financial services lingo.™
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Negotiation Anatomy

Walk-away | Escalation | Algorithm | Heuristic | subject matter expert | Operationalisation | Playbook | Smart contract | Dead horse | Knife fight | 7 wastes | Cruddy legal advice

Flannel is a cotton material of a peculiarly absorbent character, cut into small toweling squares, in which state it is used with abandon by diligent lawyers the world over to protect their livelihoods and cover a multitude of ills: A profound hatred of the language in which they ply their craft; a clear understanding of the economic fundamentals of the legal arrangements their verbiage is articulating.

Who, why, which or what —
Does flannelette flag?
Is it a towel? A kerchief? A hanky? Or rag?
Does it sit in your pocketbook, briefcase, satchel
Or bag?

Not to be confused with “verbiage”, flannel is calculated to make simple propositions seem complicated. For organisms of the genus causidicus mediocris, flannel has clear adaptive benefits in as much as it makes one think, “ho, look out, I’d better check this with legal

A flanneljack off to find some trees to chop down yesterday so he can pulp them, turn them into paper and cover them with flannel

Flannel suggesting profound ontological uncertainty, fear etc.


General flannel

Plain English Anatomy

Noun | Verb | Adjective | Adverb | Preposition | Conjunction | Latin | Germany | Flannel | Legal triplicate | Nominalisation | Murder your darlings

  1. This is suggestive of pan-dimensional uncertainty.