Towards more picturesque speech

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sublime comic genius from the JC’s first comedy heroes, Not The Nine O’Clock News.

BARRISTER: Why, even her very identity is in doubt. Mrs. Pinterman, have you or have you not in the past gone under an alleyarse?
WITNESS: What?
BARRISTER: Have you used an alleyarse? M’Lud, the kestion is crucial.
JUDGE: But we don't understand the question, Mr Davis. What is an “alleyarse”?
B2: An alleyarse? An alleyarse? I can scarcely believe my ears! It’s a common enough legal term.
JUDGE: I’ve never heard of it.
BARRISTER: I'll refer you to any number of standard reference works: Goldsmith, Armitage & Berlin: Teach Yourself Law, Book 4; The Open University Criminology Course, Part 1; The Perry Mason Book for Boys, 1962. An alleyarse is defined as the assumption of an alternative identity for nefaraious purposes.

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