Key non-performance indicator

Key non-performance indicator
(n.)
The light inversion of that measure of articulated fatuity, the key performance indicator. The “KNPI” measures the number of formal, pointless, bureaucratic procedures in your firm that serve only to nourish the rotten fiefdoms and layers of administrative sediment that undermine its aspiration of meeting the aspiration of its (equally fatuous) mission statement. Of course, no firm in the western, eastern or for that matter southern hemisphere monitors key non-performance indicators.

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So let us try.

• Number of KPIs by which a given individual is monitored
• Time spent on performance appraisal
• Time spent compiling management information and statistics (including KPIs)
• Hours of committee meetings per week
• Hours of continuing professional development
• Time spent on invoice approval

See also

• Key performance indicator
• Modernism versus pragmatism