If

This, adapted from Wikipedia’s article on “Conditional (computer programming)” works equally well for the legal if:

The computer-code if

The if–then construct (sometimes called if–then–else) is common across many programming languages. Although the syntax varies quite a bit from language to language, the basic structure looks like this:

If (boolean condition) Then
   (consequent)
Else
   (alternative)
End If 

When the machine finds an If, it expects a boolean condition – for example, x > 0, which means “the variable x contains a number that is greater than zero” – and it evaluates that condition. If the condition is true, the statements following the then are executed. If not, the execution continues in the following branch – either in the else block (which is usually optional), or if there is no else branch, then after the end If.

After either branch has been executed, control returns to the point after the end If.

The legal if

It is to just this kind of simplicity and functional clarity that a legal contract ought to aspire. But here’s the difference: Computer code depends on a dumb client to faithfully interpret and flawlessly implement the code. If it doesn’t, his programme won’t work. A lawyer, by contrast, depends on his dumb client getting confused and coming back to ask what it all means.

So the diligent lawyer writes not with a coder’s clarity and simplicity, but densely and with flannel. The most basic of operators - if - he renders as “in the event that”. A single conjunction replaced by a preposition, a definite article, a noun and a different conjunction.