82,891
edits
Aleebee: Difference between revisions
no edit summary
Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) No edit summary |
Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) No edit summary |
||
| Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
DEFENCE: An alleyarse? An alleyarse? I can scarcely believe my ears! It’s a common enough legal term. <br> | DEFENCE: An alleyarse? An alleyarse? I can scarcely believe my ears! It’s a common enough legal term. <br> | ||
JUDGE: I’ve never heard of it. <br> | JUDGE: I’ve never heard of it. <br> | ||
PROSECUTION: I’ll refer you to any number of standard reference works: Goldsmith, Armitage & Berlin: ''Teach Yourself Law'', Book 4; The Open University Criminology Course, Part 1; The ''Perry Mason Book for Boys'', 1962. An alleyarse is defined as the assumption of an alternative identity for nefaraious purposes.}} | PROSECUTION: I’ll refer you to any number of standard reference works: Goldsmith, Armitage & Berlin: ''Teach Yourself Law'', Book 4; The Open University Criminology Course, Part 1; The ''Perry Mason Book for Boys'', 1962. An alleyarse is defined as the assumption of an alternative identity for nefaraious purposes. <br> | ||
JUDGE: Nefar''ai''ous purposes?<br> | |||
PROSECUTION: Precisely, M’Lud. We have heard it all egged —<br> | |||
DEFENCE: ''Alleged''.<br> | |||
PROSECUTION: ... that this woman visited her spose — <br> | |||
DEFENCE: ''Spouse''. <br> | |||
PROSECUTION: ... on that fattle night —<br> | |||
JUDGE: ''Fatal'' night. <br> | |||
PROSECUTION: ... but I submit she’s little more than a common pewblic nweesonce — | |||
WITNESS AND JUDGE: ''Nuisance''! <br> | |||
PROSECUTION: And her whole testimonny is little more than a tiss-way of lies.<br> | |||
JUDGE: A ''tissue'', a ''tissue''!<br> | |||
PROSECUTION: Bless you, M’Lud <br> | |||
PROSECUTION: As the Bard put it: “Hell hath no furry like a woman scrawned.”<br> | |||
WITNESS: I Just … I don't understand!<br> | |||
JUDGE: Quiet! This case has been one of the most difficult and embarrassing of my long career. You are an evil and malicious young trollop who has wilfully committed an evil crime, and yet you have come to this court and, without any consideration, forced this unfortunate young man to behave like a cross between a human vegetable and Ronnie Barker. You are someone who wantonly thrusts herself upon men for sexual fantasy wherever you may find them. Perhaps you'd like to join me for lunch.}} | |||
{{Sa}} | {{Sa}} | ||
*[[Variation margin creates more problems than it solves]] | *[[Variation margin creates more problems than it solves]] | ||
*[[Call Me]] | *[[Call Me]] | ||