Awards: Difference between revisions

Awards (view source)

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-[[File:EPOTY.png|300px|thumb|right|You know you want it.]]
+{{G|[[File:EPOTY.png|300px|thumb|right|You know you want it.]]}}
 Awards of any kind are a dignity-shredding affair, even when your auditors can count envelopes, but just what is going through the mind of an investment banker, [[head-hunter|recruitment consultant]], [[Mediocre lawyer|lawyer]] or [[compliance]] professional who allows himself to hold, be nominated for, win, modestly disclose on [[LinkedIn]], or congratulate anyone else who should so modestly disclose, an “[[industry award]]” is hard to fathom.
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 It is true that in those cases, sheepishly returning to your desk with a stonking hangover and an embarrassing plastic figurine is the price of a free night out on the razzle with your buddies. But latterly these [[Risk Magazine|austere publications]] have been joined by obscure “networking platforms” and hitherto unheard-of “trade associations” in declaring arbitrary, meaningless and frankly outrageous awards to individuals whom you would think the simple pleasure of excelling at their calling, or failing that, being richly paid for it, ought to be reward enough.
-But what is this you say? There might be deeper neuroses at work, nibbling away at our frail securities, dripping whispered poisons in our ear — that, unless we recognise each other periodically, the crushing reality might visit us— that what we do all day has absolutely zero utility in the grander scheme of life? That we are wasting ourselves; decaying; wearing away—[[Bullshit Jobs: A Theory - Book Review|frittering our fragile psyches on a cosmic hamster wheel]]?
+But what is this you say? There might be deeper neuroses at work, nibbling away at our frail securities, dripping whispered poisons in our ear — that, unless we recognise each other periodically, the crushing enormity of reality might visit us — that what we do every day has null utility in the grander scheme of life? That we are wasting ourselves; deteriorating; decaying; wearing away—[[Bullshit Jobs: A Theory - Book Review|frittering our fragile psyches on a cosmic hamster wheel]]?
 How cynical.
-Seemingly there are insecurities that only a gong for “[[Environmental Finance Personality of the Year]]” (there really is such a thing); “Business Development Professional of the Year” (there are ''hundreds'' of these) or “In-house Litigation Department of the year” (what does it say about an organisation that lionises its own capacity to [[Make America Great Again|conduct litigation]]?) can redress.
+Seemingly there are insecurities that only a gong for “[[Environmental Finance Personality of the Year]]” (you couldn't make such a thing up: it really exists); “Business Development Professional of the Year” (there are ''hundreds'' of these) or “In-house Litigation Department of the year” (what does it say about an organisation that lionises its own capacity to [[Make America Great Again|conduct litigation]]?) can redress.
-O! To have existential doubts that can be so easily quashed! If such an award, “judged” anonymously, without reference to published criteria, from amongst nominees whose main merit appears to be employment by a prolific advertiser of the sponsor’s product — if a personal tribute as feeble as ''that'' can assuage your deep insecurities — if that is all it takes to put you back on your keel — your psychological health is rude indeed.
+O! To have existential doubts that can be so simply quashed!
+If such an award, “judged” anonymously, without reference to published criteria, from amongst nominees whose main merit appears to be employment by a prolific advertiser of the sponsor’s product — if a personal tribute as feeble as ''that'' can assuage your deep insecurities — if that is all it takes to put you back on a level keel — your psychological health is rude indeed.
 Right?[[File:LDOTY.jpg|thumb|right|Excellence in [[complaints management]]]]