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Management consultant: Difference between revisions
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One of those people with an [[MBA]] who is profoundly deaf to protest “that is easier said than done”, largely because a [[management consultant]]’s role is to ''say'', while some other poor sap is expected to ''do''. | One of those people with an [[MBA]] who is profoundly deaf to protest “that is easier said than done”, largely because a [[management consultant]]’s role is to ''say'', while it is some other poor sap<ref>See, for example, [[Head of the documentation unit]]</ref> who is is expected to ''do''. | ||
In ordinary Euclidian [[space-time]], there is a simple formula — not quite as elegant as ''E = MC<sup>2</sup>'', but close — which sets an immutable bound on the minimum time (''t'') required for a management consultant’s “output” (''∞'') to be implemented<ref>Careful: a management consultant’s output is ''never'' called a “recommendation”: The art of [[management consultancy]] is to carry out countless chargeable hours precisely ''without'' doing that: the key is to elicit ideas ''from your client'' as to what to do, responsibility for which, when inevitably they fail, can safely be laid at the client’s own door.</ref>, which must be longer than the maximum theoretical length (''L'') of the [[management consultant]]’s engagement (''e'''). | In ordinary Euclidian [[space-time]], there is a simple formula — not quite as elegant as ''E = MC<sup>2</sup>'', but close — which sets an immutable bound on the minimum time (''t'') required for a management consultant’s “output” (''∞'') to be implemented<ref>Careful: a management consultant’s output is ''never'' called a “recommendation”: The art of [[management consultancy]] is to carry out countless chargeable hours precisely ''without'' doing that: the key is to elicit ideas ''from your client'' as to what to do, responsibility for which, when inevitably they fail, can safely be laid at the client’s own door.</ref>, which must be longer than the maximum theoretical length (''L'') of the [[management consultant]]’s engagement (''e'''). | ||
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:''T∞ >L<sub>e'</sub>'' | :''T∞ >L<sub>e'</sub>'' | ||
A [[management consultant]] will necessarily be long gone and onto {{sex|his}} next job well before it becomes clear that the changes that were implemented as a result of his consultancy are a disaster (again, be careful never to describe these as “recommendations”: A management consultant can ask open questions by which a firm can navigate its own way to “water”, but it cannot make it drink). When the enormity of the situation has descended upon all [[stakeholder]]s you will not see | A [[management consultant]] will necessarily be long gone and onto {{sex|his}} next job well before it becomes clear that the changes that were implemented as a result of his consultancy are a disaster (again, be careful never to describe these as “recommendations”: A management consultant can ask open questions by which a firm can navigate its own way to “water”, but it cannot make it drink). | ||
When the enormity of the situation has finally descended upon all [[stakeholder]]s you will not see the [[management consultant]] for dust. Someone’s posterior will be required for kicking, and most likely it will be the [[head of the documentation unit]]. | |||
{{dramatis personae}} | {{dramatis personae}} | ||
{{c2|Astrophysics|Egg}} | {{c2|Astrophysics|Egg}} | ||
{{ref}} | {{ref}} | ||