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All-hands conference call: Difference between revisions
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The worst kind of [[conference call]], with countless participants, redundantly representing all different walks of departmental life, each to donate an hour of their sorry existence in deference of the [[great dogma]] and the cast iron guarantee that nothing will be achieved beyond ratcheting the tedium and [[entropy]] in the organisation ever nearer that threshold of [[boredom heat death]] at which point all our trials will be over, the [[great day of judgement]] will be upon us, and we will at last be delivered from our suffering. | The worst kind of [[conference call]], with countless participants, redundantly representing all different walks of departmental life, each to donate an hour of their sorry existence in deference of the [[great dogma]] and the cast iron guarantee that nothing will be achieved beyond ratcheting the tedium and [[entropy]] in the organisation ever nearer that threshold of [[boredom heat death]] at which point all our trials will be over, the [[great day of judgement]] will be upon us, and we will at last be delivered from our suffering. | ||
Look at it this way: you’ve just had a “'''Booking Model Operational Risk Working Group Fortnightly [[Stakeholder]] Call'''” put in your diary. | |||
Now, leaving aside that one could scarcely string together nine more spirit-crushing words in the English language than those, there are THIRTY NINE, all fairly senior, people invited to this call. In other words, a full working week of your organisation’s employee time per fortnight. Now this may be exceedingly efficient for the [[COO|crafty devil]] organising the call — kill thirty nine birds with one stone, yo — but immensely wasteful for everyone else. | |||
Since only one person can talk at a time, we can deduce that each attendee will contribute, on average, one and a half minutes of relevant/valuable material on each call. So a single hour of valuable time, and thirty-eight wasted ones. From a pure cost perspective, you would think that would send the [[COO]] into orbit – but guess who is organising the call. | |||
That’s just contributions, of course. The chance of anyone listening, at all, for the full hour, let alone being awake when the passing mention of the thing they might care about floats past the levy, is remote. | |||
The [[COO]] could, of course, speak to each individual separately, prepare a single summary [[deck]]<ref>Sigh.</ref> to everyone for careful filing<ref>In the circular filing cabinet, of course.</ref>, but where, for the [[COO]], would be the fun in that? | |||
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