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[[File:Scissorman.png|thumb|Well, I ''warned'' you]]“MERRY STORIES AND FUNNY PICTURES”, claims the frontispiece of Heinrich Hoffman’s magnum opus [[Struwwelpeter]] (“[[Shock-headed Peter]]” to his English friends), though unholy infant terror is a better description of what lies between these covers. Depraved, violent, sometimes fatal retribution for those who offend against the | [[File:Scissorman.png|thumb|Well, I ''warned'' you]]“MERRY STORIES AND FUNNY PICTURES”, claims the frontispiece of Heinrich Hoffman’s magnum opus [[Struwwelpeter]] (“[[Shock-headed Peter]]” to his English friends), though unholy infant terror is a better description of what lies between these covers. Depraved, violent, sometimes fatal retribution for those who offend against the Hoffman’s merry code — transgressions including such mortal sins as fidgeting, failing to eat soup, sucking thumbs, playing with matches, being careless with umbrellas and walking along vacantly — along with more recognisably modern ailments like animal cruelty and racism. So: | ||
*'''Animal cruelty''': A dog bite, some unpleasant medicine and redistribution of Frederick’s pudding to victim dog. | *'''Animal cruelty''': A dog bite, some unpleasant medicine and redistribution of Frederick’s pudding to victim dog. | ||
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[[File:StruwwelRabbit.jpg|thumb|cretinous hunter, it must be said.]] | [[File:StruwwelRabbit.jpg|thumb|cretinous hunter, it must be said.]] | ||
*'''Hunting''': Your quarry turns the tables and you find yourself, your spouse and her coffee cup being shot at by a bespectacled rabbit. (Rabbit's own child suffers collateral damage being scalded by falling coffee). In fairness fairly credulous hunter allowing himself to be overpowered and outfoxed by a rabbit. No-one emerges out of this tale with much credit. | *'''Hunting''': Your quarry turns the tables and you find yourself, your spouse and her coffee cup being shot at by a bespectacled rabbit. (Rabbit's own child suffers collateral damage being scalded by falling coffee). In fairness fairly credulous hunter allowing himself to be overpowered and outfoxed by a rabbit. No-one emerges out of this tale with much credit. | ||
*'''Thumb sucking''': Forcible amputation of thumbs by large man in red trousers with giant shears. | *'''Thumb sucking''': Forcible amputation of thumbs by large man in red trousers with giant shears. | ||
*'''Not eating soup''': Death (starvartion) | *'''Not eating soup''': Death (starvartion) | ||