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*The sudden bankruptcy of the nation’s entire Italian restaurant sector, and consequent disruption to dependent industries, because | *The sudden bankruptcy of the nation’s entire Italian restaurant sector, and consequent disruption to dependent industries, because | ||
::(a) they’re ''Italian'' and omg coronavirus!!! | ::(a) they’re ''Italian'' and omg coronavirus!!! | ||
::(b) the | ::(b) the kitchen staff all insist on working from home ([[and/or]] went home for the weekend and are now quarantined in Genoa); and | ||
::(c) | ::(c) they can’t get hold of any linguini because the neurotic stockpilers in north London have cleaned the entire southeast out of pasta; | ||
*Homicidal fights breaking out at the firm’s [[business continuity management]] site in Aldershot, which has just nine parking spaces (all occupied by premises management staff), one diminutive kebab joint within six miles (which is in imminent risk of shut down owing to non-COVID19 food standards breaches), it not having occurred to anyone that in an actual disaster, four thousand people would turn up in 4X4s and all want lunch at once. | *Homicidal fights breaking out at the firm’s [[business continuity management]] site in Aldershot, which has just nine parking spaces (all occupied by premises management staff), one diminutive kebab joint within six miles (which is in imminent risk of shut down owing to non-COVID19 food standards breaches), it not having occurred to anyone that in an actual disaster, four thousand people would turn up in 4X4s and all want lunch at once. | ||
*Homicidal fights breaking out in the gents lavatories between threatened employees misconstruing each others intentions when singing happy birthday at the hand basins | *Homicidal fights breaking out in the gents lavatories between threatened employees misconstruing each others intentions when singing happy birthday at the hand basins | ||