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[[File:B-ark.jpg|450px|frameless|center]] | [[File:B-ark.jpg|450px|frameless|center]] | ||
}}According to the {{hhgg}}, [[Golgafrincham]] was an | }}According to the {{hhgg}}, [[Golgafrincham]] was an overpopulated planet, whose more resourceful inhabitants invented stories of impending doom to persuade their less-resourceful co-inhabitants to bugger off. Some said [[Golgafrincham]] would crash into the sun; others that the planet was to be invaded by twelve-foot piranha bees; still others that it was in danger of being eaten by a mutant star-goat. | ||
So the resourceful Golgafrinchans decided to rid themselves of the useless third of their population — the hairdressers, telephone sanitisers, [[internal audit]]ors, [[derivatives onboarding specialist|derivative onboarding specialist]]s, [[talent acquisition director]]s, [[serial entrepreneur]]s, [[intrapreneur]]s, [[executive coach]]es, [[social media consultant]]s [[thought leaders]] and [[digital prophet]]s — basically, everyone with an active [[LinkedIn]] profile.<ref>Okay, I know there were no LinkedIn profiles or [[social media consultants]] when {{Author|Douglas Adams}} was alive: look at this as part of the {{hhgg}} expanded universe, okay?</ref> The resourceful [[Golgafrinchan]]s | So the resourceful Golgafrinchans decided to rid themselves of the useless third of their population — the hairdressers, telephone sanitisers, [[internal audit]]ors, [[derivatives onboarding specialist|derivative onboarding specialist]]s, [[talent acquisition director]]s, [[serial entrepreneur]]s, [[intrapreneur]]s, [[executive coach]]es, [[social media consultant]]s [[thought leaders]] and [[digital prophet]]s — basically, everyone with an active [[LinkedIn]] profile.<ref>Okay, I know there were no LinkedIn profiles or [[social media consultants]] when {{Author|Douglas Adams}} was alive: look at this as part of the {{hhgg}} expanded universe, okay?</ref> The resourceful [[Golgafrinchan]]s announced the construction of three “Ark ships”. The A ship would carry all the leaders, scientists and other high achievers. The C ship would contain all the people who made things and did things, and the B Ark would hold the middle management third mentioned above. | ||
To prepare the new world for the A and C Ark Ships — to be sure the planet had been properly audited and [[KYC]]’d, had appropriate [[HR]] policies and [[SOX]] attestations in place, and so on, by the time the remainder got there, the [[Golgafrinchan]]s sent the Ark Ship B off first. The remaining two-thirds of the population stayed behind and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all wiped out by a catastrophic [[indemnity]]: no-one noticed it did not [[carve out]] [[negligence, fraud or wilful default]]. | To prepare the new world for the A and C Ark Ships — to be sure the planet had been properly audited and [[KYC]]’d, had appropriate [[HR]] policies and [[SOX]] attestations in place, and so on, by the time the remainder got there, the [[Golgafrinchan]]s sent the Ark Ship B off first. | ||
The remaining two-thirds of the population stayed behind and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all wiped out by a catastrophic [[indemnity]]: no-one noticed it did not [[carve out]] [[negligence, fraud or wilful default]]. | |||
Thus, all that remains of the [[Golgafrinchan]]s are those from [[Ark Ship B]], which crashed (safely) into a small green-blue planet orbiting an unregarded yellow sun in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. A pale blue dot. | Thus, all that remains of the [[Golgafrinchan]]s are those from [[Ark Ship B]], which crashed (safely) into a small green-blue planet orbiting an unregarded yellow sun in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. A pale blue dot. |