Compensation: Difference between revisions

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{{def|Compensation|/ˌkɒmpɛnˈseɪʃən/|n|}}Investment banks are equally good at hyperbole and euphemism, the latter being a sort of inverted hyperbole, [[calculated]] to make the unseemly seem chaste; the trivial important, the quotidian grandiloquent and the ignoble dignified. Bankers are at their creative best when discussing their own pay. Of their number, none are more given to euphemism, and indeed hyperbole, than the good people of [[personnel]] or, as they like to think of themselves, ''[[human capital management]]''. You see? They can’t help it.
{{def|Compensation|/ˌkɒmpɛnˈseɪʃən/|n|}}
 
Investment banks are equally good at hyperbole and euphemism, the latter being a sort of inverted hyperbole, [[calculated]] to make the unseemly seem chaste; the trivial important, the quotidian grandiloquent and the ignoble dignified. Bankers are at their creative best when discussing their own pay. Of their number, none are more given to euphemism, and indeed hyperbole, than the good people of [[personnel]] or, as they like to think of themselves, ''[[human capital management]]''. You see? They can’t help it.


It is they who come up with bright ideas like “rebranding” your salary as, for example, “rewards”.
It is they who come up with bright ideas like “rebranding” your salary as, for example, “rewards”.
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There is an irony here: you should not underestimate the care and precision with which pay is allocated and promotions are managed at an investment bank. Fastidious does not begin to describe it. Every detail is benchmarked, cross-checked, cross-ruffed, socialised, graded, forced to a curve, scatter-analysed, pivoted, double-blind tested and haggled over. And over this, [[Personnel]] and its paramilitary wing the office for [[diversity and inclusion]] preside. They run this process, with an iron fist. They are utterly fundamental to it, and always have been. From the perspective of natural justice, procedural fairness, human rights, equal opportunity — it is quite unimpeachable.
There is an irony here: you should not underestimate the care and precision with which pay is allocated and promotions are managed at an investment bank. Fastidious does not begin to describe it. Every detail is benchmarked, cross-checked, cross-ruffed, socialised, graded, forced to a curve, scatter-analysed, pivoted, double-blind tested and haggled over. And over this, [[Personnel]] and its paramilitary wing the office for [[diversity and inclusion]] preside. They run this process, with an iron fist. They are utterly fundamental to it, and always have been. From the perspective of natural justice, procedural fairness, human rights, equal opportunity — it is quite unimpeachable.


Which has left some institutions with a curly question when it transpires that the lion’s share of the spoils, the titles, the promotions and executive suite positions go to straight white men.
Which has left some institutions with a curly question when it transpires that the lion’s share of the spoils, the titles, the promotions and executive suite positions unerringly, go to the same kinds of homogeneous straight white men. This ''cannot'' be right, can it?
 
It cannot. It is a major, stubborn, persistent mystery which eludes every observer of the financial markets that the [[JC]] is aware of. Not just that they are straight and white and male — they can hardly help that, can they? — but that they are so ''mediocre''.