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Prospectus: Difference between revisions
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{{a|repack|}}{{d|Prospectus|/prəsˈpɛktəs/|n| | {{a|repack|}}{{d|Prospectus|/prəsˈpɛktəs/|n|}} | ||
A creative writing exercise for the sort of professional — a [[securities lawyer]] — whose ''bildungsroman'' you would avoid like a case of the clap. Especially once you’ve read one of her prospectuses. | A creative writing exercise for the sort of professional — a [[securities lawyer]] — whose ''bildungsroman'' you would avoid like a case of the clap. Especially once you’ve read one of her prospectuses. | ||
A long document describing | A prospectus — also known as an ''“[[offering circular]]”'', an ''“[[offering memorandum]]”'' and an ''“[[information memorandum]]”'' — is long document describing a [[securities]] offer, originally designed for a purpose now long lost in the mists of history, but believed to be an amulet or protective charm of some kind, which in any case is certainly not meant to be read by anyone, least of all the team of lawyers preparing it. (They, like Sweeney Todd’s Baker or an Australian sausage manufacturer,<ref>The JC could, once, describe himself as an Australian sausage manufacturer. True story.</ref> are the ''least'' likely to to eat their own cooking. They ''wrote'' it. They know what’s in it. | ||
Securities dealers are nonetheless convinced that a prospectus presents them with [[document risk|risk of huge liability]]. Much of it accordingly comprises [[disclaimer]]s, and there is a specific [[legal department]] [[employee]] — a [[red-herring ninja]] — who can make an entire living in the cool, nourishing foliage of such a document. | |||
If 400 pages of 9 point Times New Roman describing a [[collateralised debt obligation]] were not dreary enough — and be assured, readers, it ''is'' dreary enough — large swathes of it, concerning such crushingly on-point topics as its non-justiciability in jury trials, will be addressed in [[BLOCK CAPITALS]] to [[RESIDENTS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE]], a constituency that appears perpetually in need of being shouted at. | If 400 pages of 9 point Times New Roman describing a [[collateralised debt obligation]] were not dreary enough — and be assured, readers, it ''is'' dreary enough — large swathes of it, concerning such crushingly on-point topics as its non-justiciability in jury trials, will be addressed in [[BLOCK CAPITALS]] to [[RESIDENTS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE]], a constituency that appears perpetually in need of being shouted at. | ||