Template:Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension: Difference between revisions

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There is a threshold (the “[[Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension]]”) beyond which, through serial “clarifications” from disparate [[lawyer|lawyers]], para-legals, negotiators and documentation specialists, a legal {{tag|contract}} passes irreversibly into a kind of [[heat death]] of ennui and unintelligibility. An [[Mediocre lawyer|Earth-bound lawyer]] crossing that threshold passes a point of no return: {{Sex|she}} will be unable to resist the fascination of trying to understand and even further “improve” the contract, will hold out hope of rescuing it from semantic oblivion, but will eventually be crushed utterly by the colossal forces of gravitational tedium, only to be regurgitated into a parallel universe as a transverse spume of pure cosmic energy<ref>Which, curiously, may take the shape of an [[exchange-traded derivatives]] specialist.</ref>.
There is a threshold (the “[[Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension]]”) beyond which, through serial “clarifications” from disparate [[lawyer|lawyers]], para-legals, negotiators and documentation specialists, a legal {{tag|contract}} passes irreversibly into a kind of [[heat death]] of ennui and unintelligibility. An [[Mediocre lawyer|Earth-bound lawyer]] crossing that threshold passes a point of no return: {{Sex|she}} will be unable to resist the fascination of trying to understand and even further “improve” the contract, will hold out hope of rescuing it from semantic oblivion, but will eventually be crushed utterly by the colossal forces of gravitational tedium, only to be regurgitated into a parallel universe as a transverse spume of pure cosmic energy<ref>Which, curiously, may take the shape of an [[exchange-traded derivatives]] specialist.</ref>.


There is a theory that this happened in September 2008 during the finalisation of the fabled [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]], a spaciolegal event which caused such a huge dislocation of Euclidian space-time that it almost destroyed global finance as we know it.
There is a theory that this happened in September 2008 during the finalisation of the [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]], a catastrophic spacio-legal event that caused such a huge dislocation of Euclidian space-time that it almost destroyed global finance as we know it.
{{ref}}

Revision as of 16:42, 31 March 2017

There is a threshold (the “Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension”) beyond which, through serial “clarifications” from disparate lawyers, para-legals, negotiators and documentation specialists, a legal contract passes irreversibly into a kind of heat death of ennui and unintelligibility. An Earth-bound lawyer crossing that threshold passes a point of no return: she will be unable to resist the fascination of trying to understand and even further “improve” the contract, will hold out hope of rescuing it from semantic oblivion, but will eventually be crushed utterly by the colossal forces of gravitational tedium, only to be regurgitated into a parallel universe as a transverse spume of pure cosmic energy[1].

There is a theory that this happened in September 2008 during the finalisation of the 2008 ISDA Master Agreement, a catastrophic spacio-legal event that caused such a huge dislocation of Euclidian space-time that it almost destroyed global finance as we know it.

  1. Which, curiously, may take the shape of an exchange-traded derivatives specialist.