Ugland House

A grand, ocean-fronted five-story Spanish hacienda, Ugland House, houses tens of thousands of homeless, cold, starving orphan special purpose vehicles. It was named after the founding father of Caribbean high finance, George Robert Maguire Ugland, who set up the first orphanage for parentless espievies in the Cayman Islands in the 1950s.

The building which stands today in memory of Robert Maguire Ugland

In Ugland’s immortal words:

“Give me your poor, huddled, lost little special purpose vehicles. Give them all to me: yea, even unto their tens of thousands. I will nourish them. I will feed them. I will shelter them, just as they will shelter you, and your taxable income.”

Important disclaimer: The author has never been to the Cayman Islands, and he’s hardly going to get an invitation now. There is, therefore, much fantastical speculation in this article and you should assume it is, at the very least, mostly false.