Clavam Hominum Senum Pallidorum: Difference between revisions

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 {{a|myth|
 {{image|Senum Pallidorum|png|}}
-}}The ''[[Clavam Hominum Senum Pallidorum]]'' was — some say, still is — a pre-Enlightenment secret society founded in a remote castle in Romania in the 13th Century. The society’s goals were to promote the interests of all those with a fascination for chasing balls around, standing around fires, hunting, fishing, machinery, gadgets, explosions, racing cars, trains, space, beer-drinking, weak jokes, being knowledgeable about Pink Floyd guitar solos, reciting Monty Python sketches to each other and boobs.
+}}The ''[[Clavam Hominum Senum Pallidorum]]'' was — some say, still is — a pre-Enlightenment secret society founded in a remote castle in Romania by the “Orphan Count” [[Oleg Paripassu]]<ref>An interesting chap, by all accounts. His parents were killed in a bizarre coracle accident on the black sea, and implausible legend has it that the infant Paripassu was raised by a school of terrapins, earning him the nickname the “Turtle Count”.</ref> in the 13th Century.
+The society’s goals were to promote the interests of all those with a fascination for chasing balls, standing around fires, hunting, fishing, machinery, gadgets, explosions, racing cars, trains, space, beer-drinking, weak jokes, being knowledgeable about Pink Floyd guitar solos, Monty Python and boobs.
+In the dark ages, many men felt the oppressive weight of social expectation: that they must adopt unrealistic gender stereotypes foisted upon them by a society labouring under the misconception that every man must, by biological imperative and on the feeblest pretext, play rugby, start fights, hog resources, enter jousting tournaments, bait bears and with little more encouragement, declare all-out war for the simple pleasure of dominating any other man who so much as looked at him in a funny way.
+Paripassu realised how unfair this picture was. Men were just misunderstood. Really, he knew, men are naturally a nurturing, collaborative, caring and homogeneous group, fiercely loyal to each other, and tirelessly protective of their fellow man against the intrusive interests of women, children, animals and nature. What men needed was a safe space where they could meet, help each other out, recite their favourite' 'Fast Show'' sketches, and generally promote the frail interests of men as a class over all other interest groups. Part of Paripassu’s strategy was to encourage men to play up to their unjustified stereotype, as a smoke screen to their real, darker industry, of looking out for one another.
+Paripassu could not have dreamed how successful his concept would be.
 Over time ''The [[Senum Pallidorum]]'' metamorphosed from a harmless bullshitting club into an occult sect deeply entrenched in all aspects of the workings of society, ensuring fellow members were preferred wherever possible into positions of power and influence in almost any arena of human endeavour.