A. J. N. Calder

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A dour Glaswegian botanist and songwriter, and the other founding partner of Maples and Calder, A. J. N. Calder, also noted for his unfortunate gift for unwitting double entendres, Calder is nonetheless not nearly so interesting as either the ex-Chocolatier Maple brothers, nor their longtime cake-baking collaborator George Robert Maguire Ugland, who between them all but created the world of high finance that we all associate with the Cayman Islands these days.

The naturalist boarded the Die Fliegenden Dudelsäcke bound, so he thought, for the Galapagos. Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding the Dudelsäcke was in fact a whaler bound for Nantucket, but Calder only discovered this as the ketch rounded the hook of Holland and pushed out into the Channel. Calder demanded that he be brought off immediately, but the skipper

Important disclaimer: The author has never been to the Cayman Islands, and he’s hardly going to get an invitation now. There is, therefore, much fantastical speculation in this article and you should assume it is, at the very least, mostly false.