In our bossy times we hear a lot about what is, or isn’t, the “new normal” and how employers — especially big institutional ones — might be “pivoting” back from the unexpected marvel of compulsory remote working — which, let’s not forget, they were bounced into, to get out of a COVID jam — to their more usual disposition of outright distrust, in which staff must present themselves at on premises, where they can be properly over-watched, audited, monitored, measured and assessed for periodic thinning.

Legal eagles in their eyrie, yesterday.
In which the curmudgeonly old sod puts the world to rights.
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Tech start-up hysteria notwithstanding, the institutional disposition has thus settled: calm the hell down, everyone. We’ve got this. There’s nothing to see: this is not a new normal. Old normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. Do not adjust your mindset.

Au contraire.

Be careful what you wish for

But is not the new normal precisely the thing for which chief operating officers the world over have been wishing, carelessly, for thirty years? Is it not the logical conclusion of management’s generation-long push, in the name of cost reduction, to deprecate the office-working experience?

Over that time employers have systematically dismantled many “peripheral benefits” of office life, treating them as regrettable externalities that should not avoidably accrue to their staff. So, things a junior clerk might have expected in 1990 — an office, status, privacy, a travel and entertainment budget, an assistant, an internal mail service, a typing pool, proofreaders — these fripperies have gone. Even the hardware brought in to replace them has been taken away again because it’s a bit of a money sink: the BlackBerry has gone: now staff must bring their own. Tea, coffee — even paper cups have disappeared from kitchens; chocolate biscuits have disappeared from meeting rooms which, themselves, are slowly vanishing as we compress our working spaces.

Like frogs in a warming pot, we have tolerated the piecemeal withdrawal of emoluments: thousands of cuts in a long-term doctrinaire erosion of paltry joys. But the professions changed over that period: they were transformed into fungible, replaceable items of capital. In this way are personnel becoming plant.

The office lost its lustre. The young clerk of 1990 had her own office. It might have been a coffin-sized, mouse-infested internal filing cupboard, but it was in some way private. As the decade progressed she had to share it, then give it up it for a cubicle, then an un-barricaded desk in a row. Nowadays she has a soft commitment that, as long as at least the projected number of coworkers are sick or on holiday, there should be a spare terminal somewhere in the department she can log into, as long as she wipes it down and removes her belongings it in compliance with the clear desk policy, before leaving for the day.

And she is one of the lucky ones: at least she’s got a job that hasn’t — yet — been outsourced, playbooked and assigned to a gig-working school-leaver from Bucharest.

For the employment contract is a two-sided affair, and the consideration the employee asks for her work product is more than mere money — a subtlety that eludes those whose abiding focus is in the cost, and not the value, of the firm’s resources. Besides money, professional employment bestows status, facility, and eminence. It offers progression. There is a deal, that is to say, and while institutions have been reneging on it for thirty years. In the meantime, she has steadfastly kept up her own end of the bargain, unalloyed. Expanded, even: she must now be available at any time, in any place, on her own device and at her own expense.

The “new normal” was here long before the bats went crazy in Wuhan. If you want to talk sagely about the “going back to the old normal”, well sorry, chump: that ship has long since sailed.

Home working as the next logical step

In many ways, “bring your own premises” is really just the logical next step. We may have been going there anyway. In any case, COVID has let the genie out of the bottle: just as we found BYOD an unexpected blessing, “BYOP” offers us so much more: we trade a sterilised rectangle of desk-space for our own office, as grandiose or grubby as we like. We can keep photos of our departed pets, printouts of those faxed Larson cartoons and whale music in the background if we want, and the chief operating officer need not care a row of buttons, and can’t do a thing about it, even if he does.

And since we have seen that possibility — and not just seen it, but proven effortlessly, over a sustained period, that it makes us happier and more productive — I mean, who would have thought? — is it any wonder the thought of slogging, on our own dollar, back into a drab central location to sit at a telescreen and participate in exactly the same Skype calls that we could do from home, only with a crappier screen, worse coffee and no guitar for those lengthy mutable spells — really doesn’t appeal?

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