Client alert: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
 
(11 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{g}}We would like to know the critical path of the [[law firm]] [[client alert]]. We know that no-one actually reads them — ''surely'' no one reads more than one, right? — but yet they defy the tooth and claw of red nature, and not only survive, but flourish. We suppose there must be armies of [[trainee]]s tethered to a monstrous wheel, cranking these things out night and day, and this must cost ''something'' — a ''lot'' of somethings, if Roll On Friday is anywhere near accurate about starting salaries — and they must fulfil ''some'' evolutionary purpose, though our latest theory is that, like a peacock’s tail — a heavy, useless flamboyant impediment that gets in the way if a predator is around; that is some kind of snub to the nose of [[natural selection]] a some kind of [[sexual selection]] device.
{{a|work|[[File:Spam.jpg|450px|thumb|center|''Another'' blessed [[COVID-19]] thought-piece, yesterday]]
}}We would like to know the critical path of the [[law firm]] [[client alert]]. We know that no-one actually reads them — ''surely'' no one reads more than ''one'', right? — but yet they defy the tooth and claw of red nature and not only survive, but flourish. We suppose there must be armies of [[trainee]]s tethered to a monstrous wheel, cranking these things out night and day — [[EMIR]] refit news; Senior Manager Regime enforcement updates, [[COVID-19]] contingency planning tips for [[Litigator|litigators]] — and this must cost ''something'' — a ''lot'' of somethings, if ''Roll On Friday'' is anywhere near accurate about starting salaries — and they must fulfil ''some'' evolutionary purpose, though our latest theory is that, like a peacock’s tail — a heavy, useless flamboyant impediment that gets in the way if a predator is around; that is some kind of snub to the nose of [[natural selection]] some kind of analogue to [[sexual selection]].


Can anyone enlighten us?
Still, it is hard to imagine someone wanting to shag a client bulletin.
 
Can anyone enlighten us as to what role they play in the undulating topography of modern legal practice?


{{sa}}
{{sa}}
*[[Client communications]]
*[[Continuing professional development]]
*[[Continuing professional development]]
{{c|Cheeky Thursday|21/1/21}}
{{c|Communication}}

Latest revision as of 22:27, 7 December 2021

Office anthropology™
Another blessed COVID-19 thought-piece, yesterday
The JC puts on his pith-helmet, grabs his butterfly net and a rucksack full of marmalade sandwiches, and heads into the concrete jungleIndex: Click to expand:
Tell me more
Sign up for our newsletter — or just get in touch: for ½ a weekly 🍺 you get to consult JC. Ask about it here.

We would like to know the critical path of the law firm client alert. We know that no-one actually reads them — surely no one reads more than one, right? — but yet they defy the tooth and claw of red nature and not only survive, but flourish. We suppose there must be armies of trainees tethered to a monstrous wheel, cranking these things out night and day — EMIR refit news; Senior Manager Regime enforcement updates, COVID-19 contingency planning tips for litigators — and this must cost something — a lot of somethings, if Roll On Friday is anywhere near accurate about starting salaries — and they must fulfil some evolutionary purpose, though our latest theory is that, like a peacock’s tail — a heavy, useless flamboyant impediment that gets in the way if a predator is around; that is some kind of snub to the nose of natural selection — some kind of analogue to sexual selection.

Still, it is hard to imagine someone wanting to shag a client bulletin.

Can anyone enlighten us as to what role they play in the undulating topography of modern legal practice?

See also