Client alert: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
 
(6 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{a|people|
{{a|work|[[File:Spam.jpg|450px|thumb|center|''Another'' blessed [[COVID-19]] thought-piece, yesterday]]
[[File:Spam.jpg|450px|thumb|center|''Another'' blessed [[COVID-19]] thought-piece, yesterday]]
}}We would like to know the critical path of the [[law firm]] [[client alert]]. We know that no-one actually reads them — ''surely'' no one reads more than ''one'', right? — but yet they defy the tooth and claw of red nature and not only survive, but flourish. We suppose there must be armies of [[trainee]]s tethered to a monstrous wheel, cranking these things out night and day — [[EMIR]] refit news; Senior Manager Regime enforcement updates, [[COVID-19]] contingency planning tips for [[Litigator|litigators]] — and this must cost ''something'' — a ''lot'' of somethings, if ''Roll On Friday'' is anywhere near accurate about starting salaries — and they must fulfil ''some'' evolutionary purpose, though our latest theory is that, like a peacock’s tail — a heavy, useless flamboyant impediment that gets in the way if a predator is around; that is some kind of snub to the nose of [[natural selection]] — some kind of analogue to [[sexual selection]].
}}We would like to know the critical path of the [[law firm]] [[client alert]]. We know that no-one actually reads them — ''surely'' no one reads more than one, right? — but yet they defy the tooth and claw of red nature, and not only survive, but flourish. We suppose there must be armies of [[trainee]]s tethered to a monstrous wheel, cranking these things out night and day — [[EMIR]] refit news; Senior Manager Regime enforcement updates, [[COVID-19]] contingency planning tips for [[Litigator|litigators]] — and this must cost ''something'' — a ''lot'' of somethings, if ''Roll On Friday'' is anywhere near accurate about starting salaries — and they must fulfil ''some'' evolutionary purpose, though our latest theory is that, like a peacock’s tail — a heavy, useless flamboyant impediment that gets in the way if a predator is around; that is some kind of snub to the nose of [[natural selection]] — a some kind of analogue to a form of [[sexual selection]].


Still, it is hard to imagine someone wanting to shag a client bullletin.
Still, it is hard to imagine someone wanting to shag a client bulletin.


Can anyone enlighten us as to what role they play in the undulating topography of modern legal practice?
Can anyone enlighten us as to what role they play in the undulating topography of modern legal practice?


{{sa}}
{{sa}}
*[[Client communications]]
*[[Continuing professional development]]
*[[Continuing professional development]]
{{c|Cheeky Thursday|21/1/21}}
{{c|Cheeky Thursday|21/1/21}}
{{c|Communication}}

Latest revision as of 22:27, 7 December 2021

Office anthropology™
Another blessed COVID-19 thought-piece, yesterday
The JC puts on his pith-helmet, grabs his butterfly net and a rucksack full of marmalade sandwiches, and heads into the concrete jungleIndex: Click to expand:
Tell me more
Sign up for our newsletter — or just get in touch: for ½ a weekly 🍺 you get to consult JC. Ask about it here.

We would like to know the critical path of the law firm client alert. We know that no-one actually reads them — surely no one reads more than one, right? — but yet they defy the tooth and claw of red nature and not only survive, but flourish. We suppose there must be armies of trainees tethered to a monstrous wheel, cranking these things out night and day — EMIR refit news; Senior Manager Regime enforcement updates, COVID-19 contingency planning tips for litigators — and this must cost something — a lot of somethings, if Roll On Friday is anywhere near accurate about starting salaries — and they must fulfil some evolutionary purpose, though our latest theory is that, like a peacock’s tail — a heavy, useless flamboyant impediment that gets in the way if a predator is around; that is some kind of snub to the nose of natural selection — some kind of analogue to sexual selection.

Still, it is hard to imagine someone wanting to shag a client bulletin.

Can anyone enlighten us as to what role they play in the undulating topography of modern legal practice?

See also