Template:Dkt outsourcing plan: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
 
(9 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
<div class="wrap">
{{dia|Complicatio|My division’s damned, by unfunny fate<br>
{{script|Complicatio}}: My division’s damned, by unfunny fate
To live unloved upon the ledger. We are but cost.<br>
To live unloved upon the ledger. We are but cost.
’Tis the rust and stain and curse of clammy gears<br>
’Tis the rust and stain and curse of clammy gears  
That require a ruinous peopling.<br>
That require a ruinous peopling. We’ve cut our cloth as best can do
We’ve cut our cloth as best can do<br>
But these myriad needed grunts, though housed in meagre lairs
But these myriad needed grunts, though housed in meagre lairs<br>
And kept safe and well away from clientry, are yet a weight.
Kept safe and well away from clientry, are yet a weight.<br>
Each speaks the fractious tones of jargoned tongue
Each speaks the fractious tones of jargoned tongue<br>
Such patter steep’d, til cup is cold, in leaves of dismal science.
Such patter steep’d, til cup is cold, in leaves of dismal science.<br>
Each a different dismal one, his language apt to smother.  
Each a different dismal one, his language apt to smother. }}
{{Script|Nuncle}}: We understand them not. Nor do they one other.
{{dia|Nuncle|We understand them not. Nor do they one other.}}
{{Script|Inclusivia}}: “His”?
{{dia|Inclusivia|“His”?}}
{{script|Complicatio}}: Pray forgiveness, Lady Inclusivia. Hers as well.
{{dia|Complicatio|Pray forgiveness, Lady Inclusivia. Hers as well.}}
{{Script|Inclusivia}}: And theirs.
{{dia|Inclusivia|And theirs.}}
{{script|Complicatio}}: Aye, them too. Yea, this is our strife: this bewild’ring ’scape  
{{dia|Complicatio|Aye, them too. Yea, this is our strife: this bewild’ring ’scape<br>
Of contraptions yoked and tethered as a many gender’d beast —
Of contraptions yoked and tethered as a many gender’d beast —<br>
Upon whose discombobulating backs our common fate depends.  
Upon whose discombobulating backs our common fate depends.<br>
And, O! Dilemma! The very men who work these chainèd cranks —
And, O! Dilemma! The very men who work these chainèd cranks —}}
{{Script|Inclusivia}}: Men? Just men?
{{dia|Inclusivia|Men? Just men?}}
{{script|Complicatio}}: Oh! and women — and those unsure, or curious, or as yet unaligned—
{{dia|Complicatio|Oh! and women — and those unsure, or curious, or as yet unaligned—}}
{{Script|Queen}}: The heavens doth anoint!
{{dia|Queen|The heavens doth anoint!}}
{{script|Complicatio}}: Milady?
{{dia|Complicatio|Milady? }}
{{Script|Nuncle}}: Pray, spare your testy conjugation:
{{dia|Nuncle|Pray, spare your testy conjugation:<br>
Their majesty doth get the point.
Their majesty doth get the point.}}
{{script|Queen}}: It is a pretty speech so far. But has it any meat?
{{dia|Queen|It is a pretty speech so far. But has it any meat?}}
{{script|Inclusivia}}: Or their leguminous alternatives.   
{{dia|Inclusivia|Or leguminous alternatives.  }}
{{script|Complicatio}}: I — we — they — am and are and are obliged.
{{dia|Complicatio|I — we — they — am and are and are obliged.<br>
They whose allied cadence powers our truck —
They whose allied cadence powers our truck —}}
{{Script|Queen}}: The dismal ones?
{{dia|Queen|The dismal ones?}}
{{Script|Complicatio}}:  Aye them, with all their rancour —
{{dia|Complicatio| Aye them, with all their rancour —<br>
By their inevitable heft, they play as weighty anchors.
By their inevitable heft, they play as weighty anchors.}}
{{Script|Nuncle}}: “Weighty anchors”? None call the Reverend Spooner!
{{dia|Nuncle|“Weighty anchors”? None call the Reverend Spooner!}}
{{Script|Queen}}:  There are ''eighty'' of these dismal scientists?
{{dia|Queen| There are ''eighty'' of these dismal scientists? }}
{{Script|Nuncle}}: More like eight hundred —
{{dia|Nuncle|More like eight hundred —}}
{{script|Complicatio}}: Eager but, yegads, inconstant. Oafish! Fickle! Slow!  
{{dia|Complicatio|Eager but, yegads, inconstant. Oafish! Fickle! Slow!<br>
I wouldst speed their outputs up, only worser comes with sooner.
I wouldst speed my rate of stroke, only worser comes with sooner.<br>
And so, my liege, my battle plan: we set these [[Morlocks]] free.
And so, my liege, my battle plan: we set these [[Morlocks]] free.}}
{{Script|Queen}}: To do what?
{{dia|Queen|To do what?}}
{{Script|Nuncle}}: To live a carefree life set free of all this drudgery.
{{dia|Inclusivia|To see out their best and carefree lives, unchained of drudgery.<br>
{{Script|Complicatio}}: Should we set the crankshafts free from work-to-rule
Uninjured by liv’d experience: happy, unstress’d — full, fair and abundant. }}
To run through night and day without cease
{{dia|Nuncle|In other words, less gently put, they’ll make the lot [[redundant]].}}
Even upon the Sabbath.
{{dia|Complicatio|Thus, unbound by work-to-rule, we’ll drive the train<br>
{{Script|Queen}}: Crankshafts doth pedal not themselves, Complicatio.
Around the clock, without relent<br>
Who can turn the wheel without fault or food or rest?
Night; day; rain; hail or shine — e’en upon the Sabbath.}}
{{Script|Complicatio}}: You can hire them by the score in Bucharest.  
{{dia|Queen|Our crankshafts pedal not themselves, [[Complicatio]].<br>
 
You’ve said you’d let your [[subject matter expert|experts]] go, so<br>
</div>
Who shall turn thy grimy wheels, without fault or favour, food or rest?}}
{{dia|Complicatio|You can hire them by the score in [[Proverbial school-leaver from Bucharest|Bucharest]].<br>
They are legion: all thifty, keen and swift. }}
{{dia|Queen|But unpossessed of needed knowhow that, by [[Redundancy|rank and yank]], you sent away?}}
{{dia|Complicatio|There are certain merchants, Ma’am whose special skill<br>
Lies in collating squads of fruity youths, fresh harvested from school<br>
And putting them at our bespoke disposal.<br>
They bone them up upon our musty [[Playbook|almanacks]] —<br>
[[Service catalogue]]s, hymn-sheets, psalters, [[Risk taxonomies|taxonomies]] and the like<br>
And see them train’d, at pace, to keep to and stay upon our message. }}
{{dia|Queen|What is this “special skill” whereof you speak?<br>
To coach a bunch of wet-eared boys —}}
{{dia|Inclusivia| — and girls, and grades between —}}
{{dia|Queen|— to outperform our veterans? It sounds to us like sorcery. }}
{{dia|Nuncle|“Outsourcery”, they call it. An amiable conjury,<br>
Well-known to bewitch a gawping treasurer.}}
{{dia|Complicatio|’Tis more than cheeky sleight of hand, my liege.}}
{{dia|Nuncle|’Tis not. You’ll see. The logic’s flimsy.}}
{{dia|Complicatio|’Tis tried, tested and pronounced a win<br>
By no lesser than McKinsey.}}

Latest revision as of 15:16, 10 September 2024

Complicatio: My division’s damned, by unfunny fate
To live unloved upon the ledger. We are but cost.
’Tis the rust and stain and curse of clammy gears
That require a ruinous peopling.
We’ve cut our cloth as best can do
But these myriad needed grunts, though housed in meagre lairs
Kept safe and well away from clientry, are yet a weight.
Each speaks the fractious tones of jargoned tongue
Such patter steep’d, til cup is cold, in leaves of dismal science.
Each a different dismal one, his language apt to smother.

Nuncle: We understand them not. Nor do they one other.

Inclusivia: “His”?

Complicatio: Pray forgiveness, Lady Inclusivia. Hers as well.

Inclusivia: And theirs.

Complicatio: Aye, them too. Yea, this is our strife: this bewild’ring ’scape
Of contraptions yoked and tethered as a many gender’d beast —
Upon whose discombobulating backs our common fate depends.
And, O! Dilemma! The very men who work these chainèd cranks —

Inclusivia: Men? Just men?

Complicatio: Oh! and women — and those unsure, or curious, or as yet unaligned—

Queen: The heavens doth anoint!

Complicatio: Milady?

Nuncle: Pray, spare your testy conjugation:
Their majesty doth get the point.

Queen: It is a pretty speech so far. But has it any meat?

Inclusivia: Or leguminous alternatives.

Complicatio: I — we — they — am and are and are obliged.
They whose allied cadence powers our truck —

Queen: The dismal ones?

Complicatio: Aye them, with all their rancour —
By their inevitable heft, they play as weighty anchors.

Nuncle: “Weighty anchors”? None call the Reverend Spooner!

Queen: There are eighty of these dismal scientists?

Nuncle: More like eight hundred —

Complicatio: Eager but, yegads, inconstant. Oafish! Fickle! Slow!
I wouldst speed my rate of stroke, only worser comes with sooner.
And so, my liege, my battle plan: we set these Morlocks free.

Queen: To do what?

Inclusivia: To see out their best and carefree lives, unchained of drudgery.
Uninjured by liv’d experience: happy, unstress’d — full, fair and abundant.

Nuncle: In other words, less gently put, they’ll make the lot redundant.

Complicatio: Thus, unbound by work-to-rule, we’ll drive the train
Around the clock, without relent
Night; day; rain; hail or shine — e’en upon the Sabbath.

Queen: Our crankshafts pedal not themselves, Complicatio.
You’ve said you’d let your experts go, so
Who shall turn thy grimy wheels, without fault or favour, food or rest?

Complicatio: You can hire them by the score in Bucharest.
They are legion: all thifty, keen and swift.

Queen: But unpossessed of needed knowhow that, by rank and yank, you sent away?

Complicatio: There are certain merchants, Ma’am whose special skill
Lies in collating squads of fruity youths, fresh harvested from school
And putting them at our bespoke disposal.
They bone them up upon our musty almanacks
Service catalogues, hymn-sheets, psalters, taxonomies and the like
And see them train’d, at pace, to keep to and stay upon our message.

Queen: What is this “special skill” whereof you speak?
To coach a bunch of wet-eared boys —

Inclusivia: — and girls, and grades between —

Queen: — to outperform our veterans? It sounds to us like sorcery.

Nuncle: “Outsourcery”, they call it. An amiable conjury,
Well-known to bewitch a gawping treasurer.

Complicatio: ’Tis more than cheeky sleight of hand, my liege.

Nuncle: ’Tis not. You’ll see. The logic’s flimsy.

Complicatio: ’Tis tried, tested and pronounced a win
By no lesser than McKinsey.