Hold music: Difference between revisions
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A badge of [[Früheankunftfreude|honour]] amongst people of a certain disposition (“''[[warteschleifenmusikopfer]]''”) — they who think [[the early bird gets the worm]], the first cut is the deepest and so on. | A badge of [[Früheankunftfreude|honour]] amongst people of a certain disposition (“''[[warteschleifenmusikopfer]]''”) — they who think [[the early bird gets the worm]], the first cut is the deepest and so on. | ||
There is something psychotic about an organisation which expects you to listen without protest to its own corporate tune on a 15 second loop while the AV guy in the room fumbles with the | There is something psychotic about an organisation which expects you to listen, without protest, to its own corporate tune on a 15 second loop while the AV guy in the room fumbles with the chairperson’s passcode to open an [[all hands conference call]] that, in itself, promises an hour-and-a-half of [[excruciation]]. In that very chord progression; that percussive, high-energy turnaround — transmitted through one ear of a telephone receiver for maximum total harmonic distortion — you can almost see your remaining good years leaking out of you, in fifteen-second drips, as you sit there. | ||
Being periodically interrupted by the disingenuous assurance that your call is important means you can’t even get on with your work in the mean time. | |||
My favourite hold music to date | One can draw pleasingly xenophobic stereotypes over nations and their hold music. The Brits will prefer Elgar (though Europhiles might stretch to Vivaldi); the Luxembourgische a fluffy Straussian waltz; the Austrians a ''Scorpions'' greatest hits compilation, while German firms do have hold music (“[[warteschleifenmusik]]”) - usually Brahms or something like that — but prefer a stern female voice intoning “BITTE WARTEN. BITTE WARTEN.” | ||
My favourite hold music to date belongs to the Royal Free Hospital in London, and is the gentle birdsong of a summer meadow, punctuated infrequently by someone who sounds like Patricia Hodge whispering that “someone will be with you shortly”. I’m like, “Patricia, don’t rush.” | |||
{{sa}} | {{sa}} |