LinkedIn: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
Line 3: Line 3:
Being the sort of person<ref>the technical term is a “[[masochist]]”</ref> who likes Ed Wood movies<ref>Try Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones in ''[[Age of Dragons]]''</ref> I love [[LinkedIn]], despite its immutable hatefulness. Its sole virtue is the sparkling clarity with which it confirms every prejudice a cynic could possibly confect about the world of free enterprise and the men and women who inhabit it<ref>[[Apocalypse|The horror. The horror]]</ref>.
Being the sort of person<ref>the technical term is a “[[masochist]]”</ref> who likes Ed Wood movies<ref>Try Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones in ''[[Age of Dragons]]''</ref> I love [[LinkedIn]], despite its immutable hatefulness. Its sole virtue is the sparkling clarity with which it confirms every prejudice a cynic could possibly confect about the world of free enterprise and the men and women who inhabit it<ref>[[Apocalypse|The horror. The horror]]</ref>.


Whether modestly disclosing [[industry awards]] one has “won” for representing a prolific advertiser in the hosting organisation’s magazine, insincerely ejaculating words of delight at the humble disclosure of those awards from your [[networking|network]], [[virtue signalling]] your profound commitment to cosmopolitan equality and flexible working, articulating pat advice on job interview techniques, posting recycled logical conundrums from Facebook that “only a genius” could solve or desperately hunting for candidates — any candidates — to fill a support lawyer role in one of the Arab Emirates<ref>Fluency in Arabic preferable!</ref>, none of the terabytes put out by denizens of [[LinkedIn]] has a tenth of the merit, interest or distraction value of other social networks — yet, yet, yet — somehow the sum of [[LinkedIn]]’s mealy-mouthed parts is strangely compelling.
Whether modestly disclosing [[industry awards]] one has “won” for representing a prolific advertiser in the hosting organisation’s magazine, insincerely ejaculating words of delight at the humble disclosure of those awards from your [[networking|network]], [[virtue signalling]] your profound commitment to cosmopolitan equality and flexible working, articulating pat advice on job interview techniques, posting recycled logical conundrums from Facebook that “only a genius” could solve or desperately hunting for candidates — any candidates — to fill a paralegal role in one of the Emirates (fluency in Arabic preferable!), none of the terabytes put out by denizens of [[LinkedIn]] has a tenth of the merit, interest or distraction value of other social networks — yet, yet, yet — somehow the sum of [[LinkedIn]]’s mealy-mouthed parts is strangely compelling.


After all, however idiotic LinkedIn is, [[Amwell J]] still publishes some of its snitty ramblings ([[:category:Published|these ones]]), [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ollybuxton/recent-activity/posts/ there]. Do as [[I]] say, not as [[I]] do, folks.
After all, however idiotic LinkedIn is, [[Amwell J]] still publishes some of its snitty ramblings ([[:category:Published|these ones]]), [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ollybuxton/recent-activity/posts/ there]. Do as [[I]] say, not as [[I]] do, folks.

Revision as of 09:28, 24 May 2017

A guilty pleasure.

Being the sort of person[1] who likes Ed Wood movies[2] I love LinkedIn, despite its immutable hatefulness. Its sole virtue is the sparkling clarity with which it confirms every prejudice a cynic could possibly confect about the world of free enterprise and the men and women who inhabit it[3].

Whether modestly disclosing industry awards one has “won” for representing a prolific advertiser in the hosting organisation’s magazine, insincerely ejaculating words of delight at the humble disclosure of those awards from your network, virtue signalling your profound commitment to cosmopolitan equality and flexible working, articulating pat advice on job interview techniques, posting recycled logical conundrums from Facebook that “only a genius” could solve or desperately hunting for candidates — any candidates — to fill a paralegal role in one of the Emirates (fluency in Arabic preferable!), none of the terabytes put out by denizens of LinkedIn has a tenth of the merit, interest or distraction value of other social networks — yet, yet, yet — somehow the sum of LinkedIn’s mealy-mouthed parts is strangely compelling.

After all, however idiotic LinkedIn is, Amwell J still publishes some of its snitty ramblings (these ones), there. Do as I say, not as I do, folks.

References

  1. the technical term is a “masochist
  2. Try Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones in Age of Dragons
  3. The horror. The horror