Singulars and plurals

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To what end the forensic remark “All references to the singular shall include the plural, and vice versa”?

To your correspondent, none at all. This is throat-clearing, pointless text which, once in, benefits from the loving embrace of the anal paradox, but fulfils no purpose whatsoever. No lawyer will ever object to it, but — and because — it plays no role in the legal meaning of the contract whatsoever.

Can you imagine your learned counsel standing up in court and learnedly submitting that a plural did not include the singular? Good news: having referred to the case index of the Jolly Contrarian’s Law Reports, we are pleased to announce you don't need to.

Act II, Scene iv

A courtroom in the King’s Bench Division. Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R. stares morosely at his brogues, silently cursing the wasted shoe-polish in those nasty little holes. Sir Jerrold Baxter-Morley, K.C. rises briskly, causing his chair to scrape flatulently on the parquet floor. Lord Justice Cocklecarrot M.R. raises an eyebrow, and Sir Jerrold smiles thinly..

Sir Jerrold: M’Lud, the defendant acknowledges that it was obliged to comply with the plaintiff’s procedures — it says exactly that in clause 93.5(c)(iii)(G) of the indenture, it cannot be denied — but the vital point is this: the plaintiff only had one procedure. Its operations manager, Mr Strumpet, conceded as much in cross examination this morning. So my respectful submission, M'Lud, is that nowhere in this contract — nowhere — does it require the defendant to comply with a single procedure. And for this authority I respectfully submit —” here Sir Jerrold looks about wildly at his junior, Master Contrario, who looks back at him blankly. “— ah, as authority for this well established principle of English, ah, law —” here Sir Jerrold discreetly but violently jams the heel of his brogue into his junior’s shin.

Master Contrario: AAAARGH! (collapses in agony in a dead-faint on the courtroom floor.)

Sir Jerrold (ostensibly horrified by the scene before him): Well, M’Lud this is most unusual! My learned friend is in some awful difficulty and I would pray brief adjournment while —

Cocklecarrot MR: While the ground swallows you up, Sir Jerrold?