The Atlantis Variation: Difference between revisions

From The Jolly Contrarian
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
VisualWikitext
No edit summary
No edit summary
Line 1: Line 1:
The [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]], also known as the [[Atlantis agreement]] is a rumoured edition of the {{isdama}}, which, according to legend, was ''almost'' completed in September 2008, but never saw the light of day, instead collapsing into dark energy that powers the hidden universe. If implemented, the [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]] would have addressed the financial, infrastructural and regulatory challenges which dominated the derivatives trading market in the early 21st century. It would have consolidated trading documentation across a wide range of products ([[including but not limited to]] [[repo]], [[stock lending]], [[prime brokerage]], [[exchange traded derivatives]], physical [[commodities]] and [[emissions]], in so doing moving the financial world into a stable state of sunlit utopia; future-proofed agile legal agreements requiring no more than the cursory forensic management that could be garnered cheaply through unskilled personel in low-cost off-shore jurisdictions or, eventually, robots.
The [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]], also known as the [[Atlantis agreement]] is a rumoured edition of the {{isdama}}, which, according to legend, was ''almost'' completed in September 2008, but never saw the light of day, instead collapsing into dark energy that powers the hidden universe. If implemented, the [[2008 ISDA Master Agreement]] would have addressed the financial, infrastructural and regulatory challenges which dominated the derivatives trading market in the early 21st century. It would have consolidated trading documentation across a wide range of products ([[including but not limited to]] [[repo]], [[stock lending]], [[prime brokerage]], [[exchange traded derivatives]], physical [[commodities]] and [[emissions]], in so doing moving the financial world into a stable state of sunlit utopia; future-proofed agile legal agreements requiring no more than the cursory forensic management that could be garnered cheaply through unskilled personel in low-cost off-shore jurisdictions or, eventually, robots.
====What became of the 2008 ISDA Master Agreement====
As it was, the challenge was just too big. The project expanded — at first gradually; in the closing stages at breakneck pace — and in the final days is believed to have exceeded its [[Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension|Schwarzschild radius]] altogether. There was a sudden, catastrophic implosion, and everything associated with the project — all traces of the agreement, earlier drafts, the firm {{ISDA}} engaged to coordinate the drafting (Messrs [[Tubb Fuller Breaden Potter Bacon]])<ref>[[TFBPB]] has never been heard of since, and curiously, no record now exists of this firm before 2008, even though it was apparently a global bemoth</ref> and several thousand members of ISDA’s document working group seconded by their employers to contributing their “clarifications” and doubt-avoidances for the greater good of the standard form. All — the document, the personnel, and the drafting tedia — have been lost to history, and we now do not know what the agreement said, how it said it, or indeed whether the agreement really existed at all. And the robots —
===The shoulders of Orion 2006-1 CDO===
Well, speaking of robots, it is said that Roy Batty’s speech from Blade Runner (1982) fell through a hole in the [[space-time continuum]] created by shockwaves from the great financial crisis. Rutger Hauer adapted it, but only slightly, from this exchange, between an ETD negotiator and a mortally injured {{tag|CDO}} lawyer as he dragged his wrecked psyche away from the smoking ruins of Merrill Lynch:


Speaking of robots, it is rumoured that Roy Batty’s speech from Blade Runner fell through a hole in the [[space-time continuum]] from something uttered by a CDO lawyer as Merrill Lynch collapsed into smoking ruins in 2008. What happened was that an ETD negotiator mocked him as he walked out the building with his gonk, his framed, autographed baseball shirt and his Iron Mountain box.
“You thought you knew everything, didn't you,” said the hapless futures expert. “And ''now'' look at us. You did this. You have no idea.”


You thought you knew everything, didn't you, said the hapless futures expert. A now look at us.
The CDO man turned, a replicant glimmer in his eye, and said this:
The CDO man turned, a replicant glimmer in his eye, and he said this:


{{box|
{{box|
Line 13: Line 16:
:''Time to retrain as a primary school teacher.''
:''Time to retrain as a primary school teacher.''
}}
}}
As it was, the challenge was just too big. The project expanded — at first gradually; in the closing stages at breakneck pace — and in the final days is believed to have exceeded its [[Schwarzschild radius of document comprehension|Schwarzschild radius]] altogether. There was a sudden, catastrophic implosion, and everything associated with the project — all traces of the agreement, earlier drafts, the firm {{ISDA}} engaged to coordinate the drafting (Messrs [[Tubb Fuller Breaden Potter Bacon]])<ref>[[TFBPB]] has never been heard of since, and curiously, no record now exists of this firm before 2008, even though it was apparently a global bemoth</ref> and several thousand members of ISDA’s document working group seconded by their employers to contributing their “clarifications” and doubt-avoidances for the greater good of the standard form. All — the document, the personnel, and the drafting tedia — have been lost to history, and we now do not know what the agreement said, how it said it, or indeed whether the agreement really existed at all.
 
 
{{ref}}
{{ref}}
{{egg}}
{{egg}}

Revision as of 15:53, 9 May 2017

The 2008 ISDA Master Agreement, also known as the Atlantis agreement is a rumoured edition of the ISDA Master Agreement, which, according to legend, was almost completed in September 2008, but never saw the light of day, instead collapsing into dark energy that powers the hidden universe. If implemented, the 2008 ISDA Master Agreement would have addressed the financial, infrastructural and regulatory challenges which dominated the derivatives trading market in the early 21st century. It would have consolidated trading documentation across a wide range of products (including but not limited to repo, stock lending, prime brokerage, exchange traded derivatives, physical commodities and emissions, in so doing moving the financial world into a stable state of sunlit utopia; future-proofed agile legal agreements requiring no more than the cursory forensic management that could be garnered cheaply through unskilled personel in low-cost off-shore jurisdictions or, eventually, robots.

What became of the 2008 ISDA Master Agreement

As it was, the challenge was just too big. The project expanded — at first gradually; in the closing stages at breakneck pace — and in the final days is believed to have exceeded its Schwarzschild radius altogether. There was a sudden, catastrophic implosion, and everything associated with the project — all traces of the agreement, earlier drafts, the firm ISDA engaged to coordinate the drafting (Messrs Tubb Fuller Breaden Potter Bacon)[1] and several thousand members of ISDA’s document working group seconded by their employers to contributing their “clarifications” and doubt-avoidances for the greater good of the standard form. All — the document, the personnel, and the drafting tedia — have been lost to history, and we now do not know what the agreement said, how it said it, or indeed whether the agreement really existed at all. And the robots —

The shoulders of Orion 2006-1 CDO

Well, speaking of robots, it is said that Roy Batty’s speech from Blade Runner (1982) fell through a hole in the space-time continuum created by shockwaves from the great financial crisis. Rutger Hauer adapted it, but only slightly, from this exchange, between an ETD negotiator and a mortally injured CDO lawyer as he dragged his wrecked psyche away from the smoking ruins of Merrill Lynch:

“You thought you knew everything, didn't you,” said the hapless futures expert. “And now look at us. You did this. You have no idea.”

The CDO man turned, a replicant glimmer in his eye, and said this:

I’ve seen things you people wouldn't believe.
Attack-ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion 2006-1 hybrid CDO.
I watched mezzanine-tranches glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Time to retrain as a primary school teacher.


References

  1. ↑ TFBPB has never been heard of since, and curiously, no record now exists of this firm before 2008, even though it was apparently a global bemoth
Retrieved from "https://jollycontrarian.com/index.php?title=The_Atlantis_Variation&oldid=17411"