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{{g}}According to the {{hhgg}}, [[Golgafrincham]] was an over-populated planet, whose more resourceful inhabitants invented stories of impending doom to persuade their less-resourceful co-inhabitants to bugger off. Some said | {{g}}According to the {{hhgg}}, [[Golgafrincham]] was an over-populated planet, whose more resourceful inhabitants invented stories of impending doom to persuade their less-resourceful co-inhabitants to bugger off. Some said [[Golgafrincham]] would crash into the sun; others that the planet was to be invaded by twelve-foot piranha bees; still others that it was in danger of being eaten by an mutant star-goat. | ||
So the resourceful Golgafrinchans decided to rid themselves of the useless third of their population — the hairdressers, telephone sanitisers, [[internal audit]]ors, [[derivatives onboarding specialist|derivative onboarding specialist]]s, [[talent acquisition director]]s, [[serial entrepreneur]]s, [[intrapreneur]]s, [[executive coach]]es, [[social media consultant]]s [[thought leaders]] and [[digital prophet]]s — basically, everyone with an active [[LinkedIn]] profile.<ref>Okay, I know there were no LinkedIn profiles or [[social media consultants]] when {{Author|Douglas Adams}} was alive: look at this as part of the {{hhgg}} expanded universe, okay?</ref>. The resourceful [[Golgafrinchan]]s annouced the construction of three “Ark ships”. The A ship would carry all the leaders, scientists and other high achievers. The C ship would contain all the people who made things and did things, and the B Ark would hold the middle management third mentioned above. | So the resourceful Golgafrinchans decided to rid themselves of the useless third of their population — the hairdressers, telephone sanitisers, [[internal audit]]ors, [[derivatives onboarding specialist|derivative onboarding specialist]]s, [[talent acquisition director]]s, [[serial entrepreneur]]s, [[intrapreneur]]s, [[executive coach]]es, [[social media consultant]]s [[thought leaders]] and [[digital prophet]]s — basically, everyone with an active [[LinkedIn]] profile.<ref>Okay, I know there were no LinkedIn profiles or [[social media consultants]] when {{Author|Douglas Adams}} was alive: look at this as part of the {{hhgg}} expanded universe, okay?</ref>. The resourceful [[Golgafrinchan]]s annouced the construction of three “Ark ships”. The A ship would carry all the leaders, scientists and other high achievers. The C ship would contain all the people who made things and did things, and the B Ark would hold the middle management third mentioned above. | ||
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To prepare the new world for the A and C Ark Ships — to be sure it was properly audited and [[KYC]]’d, had appropriate [[HR]] policies and [[SOX]] attestations in place and so on, the Golgafinchans sent the B Ark Ship off first. The remaining two-thirds of the population stayed behind and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all wiped out by a poorly articulated [[indemnity]]. | To prepare the new world for the A and C Ark Ships — to be sure it was properly audited and [[KYC]]’d, had appropriate [[HR]] policies and [[SOX]] attestations in place and so on, the Golgafinchans sent the B Ark Ship off first. The remaining two-thirds of the population stayed behind and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all wiped out by a poorly articulated [[indemnity]]. | ||
Thus, all that remains of the [[Golgafrinchan]]s are those from the B Ark Ship, which crashed (safely) into a small green-blue planet orbiting an unregarded yellow sun in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. They — I should say, ''we'' — live on in legal, credit and | Thus, all that remains of the [[Golgafrinchan]]s are those from the B Ark Ship, which crashed (safely) into a small green-blue planet orbiting an unregarded yellow sun in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. They — I should say, ''we'' — live on in [[legal]], [[credit]] and [[Operations|operation]]al risk and control departments to this very day. | ||
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Revision as of 15:24, 1 November 2019
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According to the The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Golgafrincham was an over-populated planet, whose more resourceful inhabitants invented stories of impending doom to persuade their less-resourceful co-inhabitants to bugger off. Some said Golgafrincham would crash into the sun; others that the planet was to be invaded by twelve-foot piranha bees; still others that it was in danger of being eaten by an mutant star-goat.
So the resourceful Golgafrinchans decided to rid themselves of the useless third of their population — the hairdressers, telephone sanitisers, internal auditors, derivative onboarding specialists, talent acquisition directors, serial entrepreneurs, intrapreneurs, executive coaches, social media consultants thought leaders and digital prophets — basically, everyone with an active LinkedIn profile.[1]. The resourceful Golgafrinchans annouced the construction of three “Ark ships”. The A ship would carry all the leaders, scientists and other high achievers. The C ship would contain all the people who made things and did things, and the B Ark would hold the middle management third mentioned above.
To prepare the new world for the A and C Ark Ships — to be sure it was properly audited and KYC’d, had appropriate HR policies and SOX attestations in place and so on, the Golgafinchans sent the B Ark Ship off first. The remaining two-thirds of the population stayed behind and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all wiped out by a poorly articulated indemnity.
Thus, all that remains of the Golgafrinchans are those from the B Ark Ship, which crashed (safely) into a small green-blue planet orbiting an unregarded yellow sun in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. They — I should say, we — live on in legal, credit and operational risk and control departments to this very day.
References
- ↑ Okay, I know there were no LinkedIn profiles or social media consultants when Douglas Adams was alive: look at this as part of the The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy expanded universe, okay?