Template:Workstream lead capsule: Difference between revisions

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Created page with "Sounds glamorous. Isn’t. Firstly, “lead” in this context means “a thing you tie a misbehaving dog to” and not “what Moses did to the Children of Israel”. One eng..."
 
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Sounds glamorous. Isn’t. Firstly, “lead” in this context means “a thing you tie a misbehaving dog to” and not “what Moses did to the Children of Israel”. One engaged, usually on a [[Contractor|temporary]] basis, to set up a “[[Change manager|business change]]” program whereby outwardly useful employees will be distracted from whatever they are doing and instructed to strip paint off a bucket, so the bucket can be given to another employee to paint properly, so a third one can strip paint from it again. And so on. Requires experience organising [[all-hands conference call]]s, walking through action logs and compiling [[dashboard]]s full of [[RAG status]]. Until you contract runs out.
Sounds glamorous; isn’t.  
 
Firstly, “lead” in this context means “a thing you tie a misbehaving dog to” and not “what Moses did to the Children of Israel”. A workstream lead is one engaged, on a [[Contractor|temporary]] basis, to prod unwilling employees along a manifestly pointless “[[Change manager|business change]]” program whereby outwardly useful staff will be distracted from whatever they are doing and instructed to strip paint off a bucket, so the bucket can be given to another employee to paint properly, so a third one can strip paint from it again. And so on.  
 
Requires experience organising [[all-hands conference call]]s, walking through action logs and compiling [[dashboard]]s full of [[RAG status]]. Until your contract runs out.

Revision as of 18:13, 14 June 2021

Sounds glamorous; isn’t.

Firstly, “lead” in this context means “a thing you tie a misbehaving dog to” and not “what Moses did to the Children of Israel”. A workstream lead is one engaged, on a temporary basis, to prod unwilling employees along a manifestly pointless “business change” program whereby outwardly useful staff will be distracted from whatever they are doing and instructed to strip paint off a bucket, so the bucket can be given to another employee to paint properly, so a third one can strip paint from it again. And so on.

Requires experience organising all-hands conference calls, walking through action logs and compiling dashboards full of RAG status. Until your contract runs out.