Tort

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Not a torte.
Nor, for that matter, a breach of contract.

You might wish to consider negligence, or indeed that trifecta of mediocre drafting negligence, fraud or wilful misconduct, for more information.

But don't be a nuisance. Unless you're playing cricket.

C’mon, there’s some good material here folks.[1]

  1. Here all week, folks!
    This gag comes to you direct from our “here all week, folks!” store of corking one-liners.