Coronavirus

The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary The snippy guide to financial services lingo.™ →Go uptown Index — Click the ᐅ to expand: Glossary Tell me more Sign up for our newsletter — or just get in touch: for ½ a weekly 🍺 you get to consult JC. Ask about it here.

The moment when that carefully crafted risk taxonomy falls apart before your very eyes.

For where in it, pray tell, does it cover the risks of flu epidemics, let alone the second order calamities associated with people irrationally panicking about them:

• The secondary epidemic of dissentry because neurotic stockpilers in north London have cleaned the entire southeast out of lavatory paper and soap?
• The nations broadband networks failing because everyone is suddenly working from home
• Homicidal fights breaking at the firm's business continuity management site in Scunthorpe, which has just nine parking spaces (all occupied by premises management staff), one diminutive kebab joint within six miles (which is in imminent risk of shut down owing to non COVID-19 food standards breaches), it not having occurred to anyone that in an actual disaster, four thousand people would turn up and want lunch at once.