American bacon drafting

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American bacon drafting
/əˈmɛrɪkən ˈbeɪkən ˈdrɑːftɪŋ/ (n.)

The legal equivalent of slapstick comedy: legal drafting created not so much to do anything but to be something.

So named not because of its necessary provenance from American legal eagles — though they do tend to be good at it — but because it resembles, by metaphor, the sort of so-called “bacon” they sell you in America.

Any foreigner will recall the cycle of disappointment and grief they went through at their first American breakfast, watching in fascinated horror at the gruesome spectacle of watching American bacon cook. And that was before they gave you chalk to put in your coffee.

“American bacon drafting” is the sort of wording that makes an incoming contract look hefty — even fearsome — but which, upon first contact with the pan, dissolves into a disappointing shrunken salty husk swimming in a sea of tepid grease.

I mean no disrespect to my American friends: only your bacon. We have a worked example from a real life contract below. Observers will note that when you do boil it down to its constituents, they go without saying in the first place. This is the rule rather than the exception in “American bacon drafting”.

See also

• U.S. Attorney
• Boilerplate

In the packet

In the pan

The Agent agrees to perform its obligations under this Agreement in good faith and in compliance with the instructions it may receive from time to time from Principal and with the provisions of the applicable laws, rules and regulations of the jurisdiction(s) in which the Agent and/or Principal conducts business (collectively, the “Relevant Laws”). The Agent agrees to maintain any and all registrations and licences under the Relevant Laws applicable to its operations in connection with the services performed pursuant to this Agreement. The Agent is solely and exclusively responsible for compliance with all activities of his agents, servants, employees, partners and principals. The Principal agrees to perform its obligations under this Agreement in good faith and in compliance with the provisions of the applicable laws, rules and regulations of the jurisdiction(s) in which the Agent and/or Principal conducts business (collectively, the “Relevant Laws”). The Agent agrees to maintain any and all registrations and licences under the Relevant Laws applicable to its operations in connection with the services performed pursuant to this Agreement. The Agent is solely and exclusively responsible for compliance with all activities of his agents, servants, employees, partners and principals.

The parties must: (a) act in good faith [Usually implied in agency.] (b) comply with applicable law, [Implied.] (c) maintain necessary regulatory authorisations [Implied.] (b) meet their own costs. [Implied.] The Agent must follow the Principal’s instructions. [Implied.] Or, taking out the things not implied: “ ”.