Bank

The Jolly Contrarian’s Glossary The snippy guide to financial services lingo.™ Go Premium A monstrous oppressor of the proletariat squirrelling away the sweat and tears of your toil, yesterday Index — Click the ᐅ to expand: Glossary Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Requests? Insults? We’d love to 📧 hear from you. Sign up for our newsletter.

A big, bad, proletariat-munching behemoth without which the industrial revolution could not have happened and which is therefore an operating cause of your iPhone, you horrid little anti-capitalist ingrate.

Known more politely — but tediously — in the EU as a credit institution under European law, to which the United Kingdom may not be subject for much longer, which basically boils down to being a “bank domiciled in the EU” (which UK banks may not be for much longer).

Banks can come in all shapes and sizes, every one of which is calculated to make wide-eyed, revolutionary, sociology students cross.

The best kind is an investment bank, but all banks want only to relieve you of your money — and to inflict general suffering on the downtrodden masses who can’t fight back, obviously.

See also

• Bank account
• Investment bank
• Commercial bank
• Broker/dealer
• World-wide anti-capitalist riots of 2015. Yes, that’s right. It’s a broken link. There is no article about the goddamn anti-capitalist riots.