Bilateral conference call: Difference between revisions

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{{a|confcall|}}How much time has been wasted and exasperation wrought on the world by this fashion of scheduling bilateral conference calls, which both parties must dial into, rather than the old fashioned practice of just one person ''calling the other person up''?
{{a|confcall|}}Also known as a “telephone call”.


Certainly if you expect the [[JC]] to be paying attention to his [[Outlook]] calendar — a matrix which, like a bathroom mirror, frightens and revolts him at the best of times — you have another think coming.
How much time has been wasted and exasperation wrought on the world by this fashion of scheduling bilateral conference calls, which both parties must dial into, rather than the traditional, and perfectly sensible, practice of just ''calling the other person up''?
 
Certainly, if you expect the [[JC]] to be paying attention to his [[Outlook]] calendar — a matrix which, like a bathroom mirror, frightens and revolts him at the best of times — you have another think coming. You will have to call him to coax him into dialing in, in which case —
 
Just ''call'' me, okay?
 
But there is a more practical objection: ''time''. Not only do pre-arranged calls break up the flow of one’s day — rather like judder bars — thus interrupting you getting on with what you would otherwise prefer to be doing (which, [[Q.E.D.]] ''won’t'' be speaking to this interlocutor: if it was, ''you'' would be calling '''her'') but, thanks to the tyranny of [[Microsoft Outlook]], they will commit you to at least a quarter and probably a half hour. And if you give a [[legal eagle]] a quarter-hour to say something, she will take it. But no telephone conversation needs take that long.
 
Furthermore, there is a delay. We can allow that, while your problem won’t be the most pressing matter for ''me'', for you to be dealing with it, it must be for ''you'', in which case delaying resolution of your problem until the morning of Tuesday next week, as by scheduling a bilateral call we are proposing to do, injects four days of waste into whatever project it is you are running.
 
Lastly, if you are in written exchanges with someone about a bilateral call you would like to have with them tomorrow, you have ''already'' interrupted their flow: you have already stopped them from doing whatever else it was that they were doing. So, seeing as most calls can be dispensed with in five minutes ''just pick up the goddamn phone and get it over with''.
 
{{sa}}
*[[Waste]] and in particular [[waiting]]
{{c|Waste}}

Revision as of 10:48, 29 December 2020

Conference Call Anatomy™


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Also known as a “telephone call”.

How much time has been wasted and exasperation wrought on the world by this fashion of scheduling bilateral conference calls, which both parties must dial into, rather than the traditional, and perfectly sensible, practice of just calling the other person up?

Certainly, if you expect the JC to be paying attention to his Outlook calendar — a matrix which, like a bathroom mirror, frightens and revolts him at the best of times — you have another think coming. You will have to call him to coax him into dialing in, in which case —

Just call me, okay?

But there is a more practical objection: time. Not only do pre-arranged calls break up the flow of one’s day — rather like judder bars — thus interrupting you getting on with what you would otherwise prefer to be doing (which, Q.E.D. won’t be speaking to this interlocutor: if it was, you would be calling 'her) but, thanks to the tyranny of Microsoft Outlook, they will commit you to at least a quarter and probably a half hour. And if you give a legal eagle a quarter-hour to say something, she will take it. But no telephone conversation needs take that long.

Furthermore, there is a delay. We can allow that, while your problem won’t be the most pressing matter for me, for you to be dealing with it, it must be for you, in which case delaying resolution of your problem until the morning of Tuesday next week, as by scheduling a bilateral call we are proposing to do, injects four days of waste into whatever project it is you are running.

Lastly, if you are in written exchanges with someone about a bilateral call you would like to have with them tomorrow, you have already interrupted their flow: you have already stopped them from doing whatever else it was that they were doing. So, seeing as most calls can be dispensed with in five minutes just pick up the goddamn phone and get it over with.

See also