Chief executive officer: Difference between revisions

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''A propos'' the cult of personality that attends all large organisations, the [[chief executive officer]]<ref>and his henchmen. Goldman had Hank, John and John, Barclays Bob, Jerry and Richie, and so on. Grim.</ref> gets referred to at all times by only his Christian name — so  “Lloyd”, “Bob”, “[[Chuck]]”, or “Jamie” — and is immune from the cynicism (which, in any other dimension, [[would be]] total) on the part of those — that is everyone, however much any of them might deny it — who hanker after advancement in the firm.  
{{a|people|}}''A propos'' the cult of personality that attends all large organisations, the [[chief executive officer]]<ref>And his henchmen. Goldman had “Hank, John and John”, Barclays “Bob, Jerry and Richie”, and so on. Grim.</ref> gets referred to at all times by only his Christian name — so  “[[Lloyd]]”, “Bob”, “[[Chuck]]”, or “Jamie” — and is immune from the cynicism (which, in any other dimension, [[would be]] total) on the part of those — that is everyone, however much any of them might deny it — who hanker after advancement in the firm.  


The [[CEO]] is thus afforded ''Hero of the Soviet Union, First Class'' status — often he will be awarded it by himself — and his pronouncements, however banal, hackneyed or foolish, will be quietly celebrated across the breadth of the organisation as “[[best in class]]”. Until his ouster, whereupon he will acquire the status of [[Trotsky]], [[Snowball]], [[Emmanuel Goldstein]] and so on.
The [[CEO]] is thus afforded ''Hero of the Soviet Union, First Class'' status — often he will be awarded it by himself — and his pronouncements, however banal, hackneyed or foolish, will be quietly celebrated across the breadth of the organisation as “[[best in class]]”. Until his ouster, whereupon he will acquire the status of [[Trotsky]], [[Snowball]], [[Emmanuel Goldstein]] and so on.


{{box|
Until then, whatever the [[CEO]] wants, he gets, however flagrantly it tramples on practical traditions, carefully-wrought operating models, or simple precepts of common sense. The conflicted look on the physog of the head of compliance as she rumbustiously waves a column of tanks over a thoughtful policy framework she herself spent years designing, because of an offhand remark at the end of a Management Committee meeting, is a sight to savour.  
====Apocryphal story====
There is a story that a man known to all by only his [[Christian name]] at [[Goldman]] once had occasion to call the trading desk, at the time connected via a multi-line [[dealer board]]. Lord I wish it were true, but I doubt it. Let us call him [[Bob]] (not his real name, because this didn't happen, remember?).


A voice — youthful, without the tell-tale timbre of age and experience — picked up and, as on a trading desk one does, said:
It is important to separate the wheat of definitively dumb initiatives actually originating with the [[CEO]], to whose beat all must immediately march, from the chaff of crappy deals a [[salesperson]] has tried to ram through by [[The CEO wants this to happen|taking his boss’s name in vain]], of course.  
:'''Trader''': “[[Goldman]].” ''(This is a statement. there is no inquiry, no rising inflection of curiousness. It's a statement.)''
:'''[[Bob]]''': “Yeah, can I get [[Jerry]]?” ''(Now, when you are known to all by your [[Christian name]] you don't bother with formalities like politeness. Nor, for that matter, do traders.
:'''Trader''': He's off the desk.
:''~click~''


Now [[Bob]] might not bother with politeness, but he rather thinks he's entitled to it. No message, even? Perhaps this young man didn't realize to whom he was speaking. [[Bob]] calls back.
{{sa}}
 
:'''Trader''': “[[Goldman]].”
:'''[[Bob]]''': “Look, it's ''[[Bob]]'' here. Can I get [[Jerry]]?”
:'''Trader''': I just told you he’s off the desk.
:''~click~''
 
This will not do. [[Bob]], having dispensed with any doubt he may have been awarding this young fellow the benefit of, calls back a final time.
 
:'''Trader''': “[[Goldman]].”
:'''[[Bob]]''': Listen to me young man. I just called to ask for [[Jerry]]
:'''Trader''': I listened. And I told you he's off the desk.
:'''[[Bob]]''' ''(exploding)'': DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!
:'''Trader''': Yes. You're Bob. You're the executive chairman of the firm.
:'''[[Bob]]''': Right.
:'''Trader''': But, Bob, you don't know who I am, do you?
:'''[[Bob]]''': Ahh, ... ''no''?
:'''Trader''': Right.
:''~click~''
}}
{{seealso}}
*[[The CEO wants this to happen]]
*[[The CEO wants this to happen]]
*[[Make America Great Again]]
*[[Unjustified enrichment]]
*[[Unjustified enrichment]]
{{dramatis personae}}
{{ref}}
{{ref}}

Latest revision as of 09:57, 27 April 2021

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A propos the cult of personality that attends all large organisations, the chief executive officer[1] gets referred to at all times by only his Christian name — so “Lloyd”, “Bob”, “Chuck”, or “Jamie” — and is immune from the cynicism (which, in any other dimension, would be total) on the part of those — that is everyone, however much any of them might deny it — who hanker after advancement in the firm.

The CEO is thus afforded Hero of the Soviet Union, First Class status — often he will be awarded it by himself — and his pronouncements, however banal, hackneyed or foolish, will be quietly celebrated across the breadth of the organisation as “best in class”. Until his ouster, whereupon he will acquire the status of Trotsky, Snowball, Emmanuel Goldstein and so on.

Until then, whatever the CEO wants, he gets, however flagrantly it tramples on practical traditions, carefully-wrought operating models, or simple precepts of common sense. The conflicted look on the physog of the head of compliance as she rumbustiously waves a column of tanks over a thoughtful policy framework she herself spent years designing, because of an offhand remark at the end of a Management Committee meeting, is a sight to savour.

It is important to separate the wheat of definitively dumb initiatives actually originating with the CEO, to whose beat all must immediately march, from the chaff of crappy deals a salesperson has tried to ram through by taking his boss’s name in vain, of course.

See also

References

  1. ↑ And his henchmen. Goldman had “Hank, John and John”, Barclays “Bob, Jerry and Richie”, and so on. Grim.
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