Industry call

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An all-hands conference call conceived in the inner-most circle of hell. Made immeasurably better if, after the period of joinder, the chairperson kicks it off with a twenty-five-minute-long roll call, and untoppable if she reads out a pre-prepared script warning of the dangers of anti-competitive behaviour.

Mere seconds after that — as the reverberations of the throat-clearing from the Dutch commercial bank representative dies away —you will hear the refrain, “I have to hop”.