Let’s take it offline: Difference between revisions

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A sure sign, in an [[all-hands conference call]] , that some ingenue has made the fatal mistake of dropping through the cloudbase of platitude and cliché and into the inconvenient world of substance and detail - a grim world of intractable messiness that is immune to resolution by management theory.  
A sure sign, in an [[all-hands conference call]] , that some ingénue has made the fatal mistake of dropping through the cloudbase of cliché and into the inconvenient world of substance and detail, a grim place of intractable ugliness that is immune to resolution by crystalline management theory. You have as much chance of persuading a management consultant to embrace the actual workings of daily life as you have persuading someone who quite likes steak to help slaughter a cow.


If someone is foolish enough to do this, a hasty plea to "[[take it offline]]" - which by tonal inflection you might read as "let's set aside some time to [[drill down]] into detail just the two of us, sort it out, and [[circle back]] with a bit more [[granularity]] later in the day" (benign), or "ugh - let's [[kick the can down the road]]" (neutral), or "shut the fuck up" (hostile).
Fortunately, there’s a ready made defence. Expect a hasty plea to [[take it offline]]which, by tonal inflection, you might read as “let’s set aside some time to [[drill down]] into detail just the two of us, sort it out, and [[circle back]] with a bit more [[granularity]] later in the day” (''benign''), or “ugh — let's [[kick the can down the road]] and maybe something else will intervene to mean we never have to figure out the answer to that” (''neutral''), or “how about you just shut your cake-hole and let the [[change management]] [[workstream]] lead run the project, counselor?” (hostile).


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Revision as of 11:04, 12 June 2017

A sure sign, in an all-hands conference call , that some ingénue has made the fatal mistake of dropping through the cloudbase of cliché and into the inconvenient world of substance and detail, a grim place of intractable ugliness that is immune to resolution by crystalline management theory. You have as much chance of persuading a management consultant to embrace the actual workings of daily life as you have persuading someone who quite likes steak to help slaughter a cow.

Fortunately, there’s a ready made defence. Expect a hasty plea to “take it offline” which, by tonal inflection, you might read as “let’s set aside some time to drill down into detail just the two of us, sort it out, and circle back with a bit more granularity later in the day” (benign), or “ugh — let's kick the can down the road and maybe something else will intervene to mean we never have to figure out the answer to that” (neutral), or “how about you just shut your cake-hole and let the change management workstream lead run the project, counselor?” (hostile).