Life coach

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Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t even teach become life coaches to the teachers.

A life coach is a purveyor of shit maxims who, despite not really having amounted to anything personally or professionally — and likely as a direct result of someone else’s executive decision predicated on that exact observation — has managed — or been obliged — to reinvent herself as a motivator to those that are not-yet world-weary enough not to want to try.

Now, as one of their number, assuredly the Jolly Contrarian has no beef with those who have not amounted to anything personally or professionally — solidarity, my uncomplaining brothers and sisters — but it does strike one that the divorcee who sets herself up to offer wisdom in the conduct of the — er, affairs — of others, or the ex-international legal specialist who re-emerges to offer half-day workshops on how to be the best version of yourself is having a bit of a laugh, and that so many of these people can be routinely engaged by multinational firms ostensibly populated by those that do.