Res bossitans
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Per Büchstein’s formulation in Discourse on Intercourse, the person on the conference call whose fundamental essence is to boss people around ( a “action-assigning thing” or “res bossitans”) is that person — often a contractor from Deloitte — whose sacred role in the organisation is to prod his colleagues in the ribs whenever they seem to be enjoying themselves. The sample exchange is this:
Scene: An all-hands conference call. Late in the day. Attendees, severally, quietly feel their life essences drain away.
- Attendee 1: OK, so that there seems to be consensus: it sounds like a bad idea.
- Attendee 2: Agreed. It’s hard to configure, there are potential regulatory consequences and it doesn’t really fit our business model.
- Attendee 3: Yeah, but there’s an industry group that has formed to look at it.
- Attendee 1: Stupid idea, though, right?
- Attendee 2: Yeah. But who knows — maybe they’ll figure out a way to make this work, but it’s not likely.
- Attendee 3: Ok why don't we just leave it.
- Attendee 1: Maybe just keep an eye on it — in case they do figure it out.
- Attendee 2:Yeah. Monitor it.
- Attendee 3:Passively.
- All attendees (nodding, in unison): Passively monitor it.
- Res Bossitans (clears throat): Who is going to take anaction to passively monitor it?