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The Last SPV: An Opco Boone Adventure: Difference between revisions
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Just as he began stammered out an oily yuck to move the vibe along, she ''stopped''. “Well, amigo, whatta you gotta?” | Just as he began stammered out an oily yuck to move the vibe along, she ''stopped''. “Well, amigo, whatta you gotta?” | ||
[[ | [[Roly Punchface]] held out his tote bag. “I just caught these.” | ||
The onboarder snatched the bag and up-ended it, dumping a handful of a small, rabbit-like animals into the dust. Their legs were loosely bound and they wriggled and whimpered. She grunted, and turned each over carefully with her boot. “Littl’uns, innit?” | The onboarder snatched the bag and up-ended it, dumping a handful of a small, rabbit-like animals into the dust. Their legs were loosely bound and they wriggled and whimpered. She grunted, and turned each over carefully with her boot. “Littl’uns, innit?” | ||
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He peered into its ears, yanked open its mouth, inspected its teeth. Finally, he pulled, a stout wooden device from his tunic and held it up against the animal. “Heh. It’ll do,” he said, “but it’s not exactly going to make the quarter. It’s a bit scrawny.” He scratched his chin. “Call it a three. Yes; a low priority three.” He tossed the first one in the smallest pen. | He peered into its ears, yanked open its mouth, inspected its teeth. Finally, he pulled, a stout wooden device from his tunic and held it up against the animal. “Heh. It’ll do,” he said, “but it’s not exactly going to make the quarter. It’s a bit scrawny.” He scratched his chin. “Call it a three. Yes; a low priority three.” He tossed the first one in the smallest pen. | ||
“A ''three''?” | “A ''three''?” Roly quailed. "But Jersey [[Oik]]s are a key business priority!” | ||
“That they are, so they are, so I gather, soldier blue, but there are no oikeys here. That’s an SGPS, my young lad. Sociedade Gestora de Participações Sociais, to give him his full regalia, if you please, and he hails from —” he snatched up the beast again and began riffling through its fur “ — Porto? Lisbon, I wonder — oh! Madeira! Of ''course'' it is, my dear, Madeira, my dear. ''Similar'' to Oikey Oikses, they are, but — oh! — just not the same. It’s their milk, see? The yield is poor and it’s a bit thin, and sour, but it will nourish you juniors all right.” | “That they are, so they are, so I gather, soldier blue, but there are no oikeys here. That’s an SGPS, my young lad. Sociedade Gestora de Participações Sociais, to give him his full regalia, if you please, and he hails from —” he snatched up the beast again and began riffling through its fur “ — Porto? Lisbon, I wonder — oh! Madeira! Of ''course'' it is, my dear, Madeira, my dear. ''Similar'' to Oikey Oikses, they are, but — oh! — just not the same. It’s their milk, see? The yield is poor and it’s a bit thin, and sour, but it will nourish you juniors all right.” | ||
Roly sighed and motioned at the other two espiecies. “What about the others, then?” | |||
The old man examined the first one briefly. “This one — nah, Qatari: won’t net.” He tossed it away. His dog, a mongrel bull terrier, chased it under a fence. “Bosun! Bosun!” he screeched, at the dog. | The old man examined the first one briefly. “This one — nah, Qatari: won’t net.” He tossed it away. His dog, a mongrel bull terrier, chased it under a fence. “Bosun! Bosun!” he screeched, at the dog. | ||
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“Get away, Bosun! Get out of it! JESUS! What do you think you're playing at, bringing that nasty little blighter in here? Take it away! Get rid of it! QUICKLY!” | “Get away, Bosun! Get out of it! JESUS! What do you think you're playing at, bringing that nasty little blighter in here? Take it away! Get rid of it! QUICKLY!” | ||
Roly flapped his arms. “What’s wrong with it?” | |||
“Just get rid of it before anyone sees you with it!” | “Just get rid of it before anyone sees you with it!” | ||
Roly gingerly picked up the frightened little thing. It was barely bigger than a hamster and hand beautiful, soft, golden fur that shone auburn in the sunlight. It seemed so harmless. So pure. It trembled in the palm of his hand. “It’s okay, it’s okay little one,” Roly soothed. | |||
The inspector was screeching and shaking the cage, screaming “GET RID OF IT! GO! GO! GO!” | The inspector was screeching and shaking the cage, screaming “GET RID OF IT! GO! GO! GO!” | ||
Roly put his hands on his hips. “Well, I’m not leaving here without my commission.” | |||
“Get rid! GET RID GET RID!!!” howled the inspector. | “Get rid! GET RID GET RID!!!” howled the inspector. | ||
The old man strode over and snatched the animal, which was still snuggling on | The old man strode over and snatched the animal, which was still snuggling on Roly's palm, hiffed it powerfully, into the sky. | ||
“Hey! What did you do that for?” | “Hey! What did you do that for?” | ||
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“All right, all right — but what about my — for the other two?” | “All right, all right — but what about my — for the other two?” | ||
“Strike a light!” The onboarder fished in his pocket and tossed a couple of quarters towards | “Strike a light!” The onboarder fished in his pocket and tossed a couple of quarters towards Roly, into the dust. | ||
“Half a stinking credit??!” | “Half a stinking credit??!” Roly looked distraught and fished them out. | ||
“Think yourself lucky kid. And let this be a lesson to you. Know run along with you and take that nasty little thing with you, before Quasi here has a goddamn ''aneurysm''.” | “Think yourself lucky kid. And let this be a lesson to you. Know run along with you and take that nasty little thing with you, before Quasi here has a goddamn ''aneurysm''.” | ||
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“Panamanian variant. Just take it away okay?” | “Panamanian variant. Just take it away okay?” | ||
Roly’s eyes widened, he retched and bolted for the Wood. | |||
The onboarder looked at the two scrawny mammals in the cage, and let out a deep, existential sigh. “Lean times, indeed,” he muttered, and tossed a bone into the cage, where the little espievies fell upon it. | The onboarder looked at the two scrawny mammals in the cage, and let out a deep, existential sigh. “Lean times, indeed,” he muttered, and tossed a bone into the cage, where the little espievies fell upon it. | ||